Throwback Thursday: I Revisited Neal ‘N’ Nikki And It’s Mainly About Bras, Horniness And Horrible Acting
Very rarely do we find a movie so shitty that it is actually is a gem. It shines through all the bad ones we’ve been unfortunate enough to watch and proceeds to become a top dog. You know that feeling when you’re watching a movie and it’s so terrible that you’re curious as to what came over these people? Yeah, that happened to me. My curiosity was piqued when I revisited Neal n Nikki starring a fuckboi Uday Chopra and gareebo ki Victoria Secret model Tanisha Mukherjee. After this, my faith in the phrase ‘curiosity killed the cat’ has been strengthened.
Like Tanisha’s clothes, the plot is missing as well from the film (if you can call it that.) The audio-visual nightmare that was unleashed onto this world by Yash Raj Films revolves around two dull and dumb characters. Neal is days away from getting married so he is fucking around as much as he can in Canada. Nikki, on the other hand, makes up random excuses to roam the streets in just a bra and mini skirt, a combo that makes us wonder if she’s been drunk throughout and has accidentally left her top somewhere.
Now I am a very open-minded person and not the kind to shame a woman for her skimpy clothes wearing ways. But I want to know, how on earth is it possible that all the women Neal met in his ‘21 girls in 21 days’ spree wore just bras. Just because this movie was shot in Canada, it doesn’t mean that women outside just go about their life in bras. I mean, I know it is cold most of the year and their summers are rather short, but that’s just a poor representation of the West. It upholds the concept that women in the western countries are skimpily dressed and quite easy. I say easy because for God knows what reason, all those women kept falling for…Uday Chopra, a guy whose humour and charm seems to be as absent as female representation at Modi’s CAA dinner.
Nikki is like a bot, straight from a tharki guy’s imagination. She is boy crazy and did I mention that she only wears lingerie? You’ll find several shots of her running with her tits threatening to pop out of her bra and for no good reason. Here all I can think of is that how does all that bouncing not hurt her breasts? It seems like gravity is meant only to hurt us mortals.
She is drunk in almost every frame of the movie (well, at this point I wish I was too) and the plot would have thickened if she had a typical sob story to justify this. Like in My Sassy Girl, the actress is drinking so much because her fiancé had passed away and it’s a legit reason.
What makes it worse is that when Nikki lands up in bed with Neal and passes out, the next morning she assumes that he raped her. When he clarifies that he didn’t touch her, she frivolously uses it to blackmail him every now and then. No, rape is not a joke and falsely accusing someone is the most disgusting thing to do.
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So she convinces him to come with her to a resort (to seek revenge from her ex) under the pretext of making him meet more women to fuck. Like seriously? What are you, a pimp? This guy here is getting married to someone in a few days and fucking around like his dick is going to lose function. Eventually of course they end up together. Don’t ask me how because by now I have lost my will to delve deeper into this movie. It’s exhausting!
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