This Thread On Twitter Talks About Women Retaining Their Maiden Last Names After Marriage. We Are All For It
One of my best friends is getting married this December. So, the other day we were sitting in her room trying to figure out her wedding hashtag. Which is, BTW, a tougher task than it looks. And I asked her whether she would be changing her last name. As a response, she gave me the ‘duh!’ look and said, obviously. Now, I don’t see it as an obvious thing because to me it’s yet another option that has been made mandatory by the extreme gender norms that our society expects us to abide by. It got me thinking if I would change my surname after my marriage. I am not sure yet but this Twitter thread I came across today sure helped put a lot of things into perspective.
The changing of the surnames after marriage is a very small detail to most people, you know, in the bigger scheme of things. But if you actually think about it, women have to let go of the identity they have built over the years to take on her husband’s name. Isn’t that a lot to ask? In fact, a lot of communities in our country make the woman change not only her last name but also her first name to match her husband’s. All I am saying is that it should be an option, not a compulsion. It’s time we do away with these rigorous and unnecessary gender norms.
This Twitter thread that I was talking about earlier really helped me see that a lot of women opt to not change their last names. It was started by a wildlife photographer who said in his tweet that his wife did not change her last name. He also said that she is more successful in her career and he is proud of her for it. I am glad they still make men like this.
My wife didn’t change her last name post marriage & I never had a problem with that. In fact her identity was restored for what she worked very hard for. She is more successful than me & I am super proud of her. She zoomed past my accomplishments post marriage. Whats your story?
— Sagar (@sagarontheright) October 17, 2020
His tweet read, “My wife didn’t change her last name post marriage & I never had a problem with that. In fact, her identity was restored for what she worked very hard for. She is more successful than me & I am super proud of her. She zoomed past my accomplishments post marriage. What’s your story?”
After he shared this tweet, a lot of people joined in on the conversation. They all shared their own story. Some people spoke of their mothers and daughters while a few women shared their own experiences with this matter. By the end of it, this thread became something everyone should read. What I loved the most about it was that a lot of men shared that their wives, who chose to retain their last names, were the breadwinners of the family and that instead of feeling all insecure, they were proud of their wife’s accomplishments. It’s nice to know that there is hope for the male species after all.
Also Read: This Thread On Twitter Literally Spells Out All The Other Phrases That Also Mean No When Talking About Consent.
Check out some of the reactions Sagar got on this thread:
Not only did my daughter not change her surname.. Her kids have both their surnames. Who says daughters don't carry on the family name
— R (@digitaltrendz22) October 18, 2020
Being a successful business I’ve had no issues about changing my name. It may be a woman’s choice but it’s the smallest change in any marriage. I feel it odd when a couple use different names. When two individuals can get together to become one it’s ok to change a name! 😊
— Vasanthi (@VadiVasanthi) October 18, 2020
Retained my maiden name and added his surname too. Quit the corporate after eight successful years soon after marriage, only because he had my back. Took degrees & certification & started my ventures. If I have wings today, he’s the wind beneath them.
— Neha (@itsstillneha) October 18, 2020
My mother did not change her last name. My parents did not add last any name to both my & my bro’s names & said-apna naam khud banao. It was my bro’s conscious choice to add my father’s surname while registering for his sec. school exams. I am married now & continue to be PURWA.
— Purwa 🙂 (@Purwa18) October 18, 2020
My wife dont have a second name since beginning. All her IDs have single first name which remained the same after marriage.
Last year I did not get salary for more than 6 months, it was her who took care of the expenses. Beat this now 😂
— Zaffar (@Zaffar_Nama) October 18, 2020
I didn't change my surname either, for us it was as normal as my husband not changing his. There was no question about it. In my practice now I see more & more couples where wife has retained her maiden surname & I love the fact that it's normalising now. It's all about choice.
— Dr Sulbha KG Arora (@SulbhaArora) October 18, 2020
Even I didn't change my surname post marriage, It didn't make any difference to either of us..
Though time to time ppl do address me as Ms. Bal..and my husband as Mr. Jaiswal 🤣🤣
— Minakshi Jaiswal (@MinakshiJaisw18) October 19, 2020
The bottom line is that women need to have their own freedom and independence if they choose to change their last name after marriage or not. We have clung onto these gender norms that dictate that women must carry her husband’s name and that men are supposed to be more successful and provide for the family for too long now. Let’s shatter them and make our own norms. After all, it’s all about choices, isn’t it? That’s what this Twitter thread is talking about.