This Couple Had A Gorgeous Wedding Without All The Sexist Wedding Traditions. We Love Everything About This
You know how people in their mid-twenties start developing this fear of marriage and weddings? I am not like those people. I love Indian weddings and everything that goes into throwing a grand affair. I have never understood how anyone would want a small intimate wedding because I know for a fact that when (and if) I do get married I would want the typical big fat Indian wedding.
A few months ago a cousin of mine had this huge wedding and while everything was perfect, I couldn’t help but cringe at some of the customs that Indians follow. Look, I am not delusional. I know we live in a patriarchal society which means that all the grooms are treated like they are made of gold and the brides are treated like” paraya dhan”. And thanks to the budding equalist in me, I was super irate the whole time. PS: just a warning if you feel the same way, do not convey your feelings to your mother. You will get yelled at.
Last November, we at Hauterfly wrote a story that talked about all the sexist customs and traditions that are practiced at Indian weddings. At this wedding, I actually realised that some of our customs are very biased. I mean, what the hell is kanyadaan? The world has moved past the times where the girl needed to be given away to the boy and so we need an upgrade in our wedding traditions.
Also Read: 7 Hindu Wedding Traditions With Sexist And Bewildering Origins That We Can Do Away With Now
And it has already begun. Pallavi and Rajat are newlyweds who mutually decided to opt-out of some of these sexist traditions. Pallavi was walked down the aisle by both her parents and they had no kanyadaan or wearing of the mangalsutra. The bride did not wear a veil (chunni) and the groom’s side did not keep any separate pujas for him.
She said, “Our wedding was a two day, absolutely hectic, crazy affair. Whoever says the couple doesn’t have fun at their own wedding was absolutely wrong! Rajat and I (also known as #Pallat now) had a blast. Our wedding was about celebrating love – drinking and dancing till 5am every morning with the people (family and friends) that matter the most to us. We’ve been dating for so long (and are the first couple in our friend circle to get married) that everyone’s enthusiasm level was extremely high at this wedding. Our wedding was also a lot about equality and mutual respect more than anything else – it was our choice to do away with rituals that I didn’t feel comfortable with such as kanyadaan, boy’s separate pujas, mangalsutra, head veils (chunni) etc.”
The first thought that popped into my head after I read what she had to say was that I would kill to attend that wedding. Doesn’t it sound like so much fun? Everyone just enjoying themselves rather than the bride’s side taking all the pressure of everything. That is exactly how it is supposed to be done.
I really wish Pallavi and Rajat’s wedding stands as an example to every couple looking to get married soon. I think it is time we stop with the traditions that should have been done away with long ago.
Let’s equalize weddings!