These Women Were Harassed And Abused By Two Men At A Posh Delhi Bar And No One Stood Up For Them
As I sat at my desk, trying to write this article, I really didn’t know where to begin. I am at a loss of words. There’s so much anger, so much disappointment that I find it extremely difficult to fit it all in one article, without making it an hour-long, futile rant. Of course, at that point, I would lose your interest and my editor would fire me. So here’s what has me all enraged. Last Saturday night, two women underwent a traumatic incident and it brought out our society’s disturbing side, once again. Just when you begin to believe that things are getting better, something comes up and you realise, no, we’re still living among monsters and hypocrites. Rapists, misogynists and cowards – they live among us and yet, each time I hear about these incidents it leaves me scathed and shocked.
Nidhi Choudhary shared her ordeal on social media (really thankful for it at such times!). Be ready to feel enraged. She and her friend, Suvida Kohelika had gone for dinner on Saturday night at South Delhi’s so-called posh bar, Sidecar. As they sat peacefully at a table, minding their own business, just looking to unwind, like any of us – a group of assholes, decided to subject them to their toxic masculinity and trample all on their human rights. She wrote: “Two men sat behind our table and one of them rested his arm on Kohelika’s chair. She moved her chair as his arm was very close to her head. At doing this the other man sitting with him pushed Kohelika’s chair very aggressively, to which she went flying ahead. We got up immediately to correct him, as to why & how could he push someones chair? To which started yelling on top of his voice (sic)”
Firstly, this pathetic excuse for a human being has no concept of personal space and then retaliates violently because his ego is humongous and yet shamefully fragile. ‘How can a woman dare have any rights in his universe meant to serve men?’, this man must have thought.
Choudhary further described how things just kept getting worse. She described how he spread his legs, and pointed to his penis and said, “Come and BLOW me”, “fuck you”. Because such trash cans love to exert their power (although deep down they are all just cowards) over women, by reducing them to objects that are meant to pleasure men. It all comes down to sex! If he was having a tiff with a man, they would just be going on and on about ‘tu jaanta hai mera baap kaun hai.’
Soon after, he had the audacity to point his right leg to Kohelika’s face, and ask her to lick his foot, comparing them to a “maid” and calling them “South Delhi Aunties”. I mean, it’s just downright degrading and a violation of human rights – the foot gesture. Using the term ‘maid’ as an insult displays this man’s elitist mentality, classism and a general lack of respect for people. Maids, work hard to sustain themselves and their families, and make your lives easier. They are humans too and deserve respect – a concept such men will never understand. Dear asshole, if there’s anyone who is an insult to humanity, that’s you and others who fall in the same category as you. And as you can see in the pictures, these men happily posed, when the women were clicking them.
But that’s not the most disturbing thing about this incident. What really bewildered me is the fact that nobody helped these women out, or even bothered to ask them if they were okay. The restaurant manager didn’t throw these guys out for harassing these women. I mean, how do we feel safe then? If a crime is unfolding in your premises, and you’re there housing the offenders – you are a part of it. People watched them getting humiliated by these hounds, and they did absolutely nothing. Those people are a part of it. Except two other women, who were the sole souls to have helped them. Shame on everyone who was under that roof! They are all cowards, and lack humanity because they are so comfortable with not helping another human out.
The trash cans fled after hearing Kohelika call the cops. Except that the cops weren’t really of much help. “We were left shaken, shocked and appalled and we left after spending 3 hours at the police station, trying to get an FIR lodged,” Choudhary wrote. She further explained “Those 25 min when they were sitting behind us, was an ego war to test who has more power. Would the Indian women leave and run home post the incident or have the strength to Stand up!!!”
Choudhary said it was “verbal rape” and I agree with it. Just because there wasn’t any physical contact, it doesn’t mean that their dignity wasn’t attacked. Instead of showing empathy, these women had to spend hours and hours just to get their complaint lodged. If the custodians of your safety act so shamefully, how is this ever going to get better? Apparently, the post having gone viral on social media compelled the police to take action.
ALSO READ: Sonam Kapoor Dropped Major Truth Bombs About Indian Society And Its Misogyny. She Spoke Our Mind!
This incident, talks about so much that’s wrong in our society – misogyny, sexualising women, power-struggle, violation of personal space, violation of human rights, classism, cowardly culture and the lack of support from bystanders. The list is endless. And I don’t know how so much is ever going to get fixed. Having said that, we’re very proud of these women, who took a strong stand against the said trash cans. I am proud of the other two women who helped them without thinking twice. And I am proud of netizens who made sure this post gets enough attention. These people are the silver lining!