There Are So Many Jobs I Will Be Good At Once This Lockdown Is Over. For Starters, I Can Be A Dealer At A Casino
This lockdown has given us the chance to be the best, rawest version of ourselves and I am certainly making the most of it. Okay, maybe I am not learning a new skill or taking an online psychology course (stop bragging, okay) or pretending to be Gordon Ramsay but that doesn’t mean I am not doing anything.
I am using this time to make myself a jack of all trades. And I have you know that I have achieved expertise in a multitude of very relevant things. So, I took time out of busy schedule (That doesn’t even sound right) and listed all the alternate careers I would be amazing at.
Check it out, we might bump into each other at an interview:
During this lockdown, people have been cooking, cleaning, painting replicas of MF Hussain paintings (damn) and doing a whole lot of other productive things. But if someone were to ask me what I predominantly did during this lockdown my answer would have to be- played cards. Yep, my family and I sit to play either Teen Patti, Blackjack, Judgement, Rummy, Two Three Five or Bluff every night and for a beginner, I am damn good. Granted, I come from a Gujarati family, so cards are probably in my blood, but still. Which is why I think any casino would take a look at my resume and hire me on the spot. How cool would that be?!
Before this lockdown, the only thing I knew how to do in my kitchen was to sniff out the snacks, make cereal and if push comes to shove, make some chai. But I wouldn’t trust myself to make chai again because made some horrible (hilarious) blunders with that. I have never learned how to cook, and I was never into it anyway. Then this lockdown descended on us and I had nothing better to do than follow my mother around the kitchen and I picked up a few tricks and tips from her. So yeah, I could be a cook if the people don’t mind a burnt vegetable and completely charred toast once in a while. But I make the best cereal ever, that has to count for something, right?
I don’t know if this is an actual job but let me tell you something, if someone should get paid for not working out, it should be me. No seriously, I love fitness, and everything related to it and even I abandoned my “workout regime”. I didn’t even follow it for three whole days. On the third day, I shut I switched from a home Zumba workout for an episode of Friends, halfway through the workout. That is how brutally I can abandon workouts. I started with full motivation on the first day and since then I have missed about 2,000 times. Okay, I am exaggerating for effect but aren’t I perfect for this job??
Someone On Marie Kondo’s Team
Do you know how we have all learned something about ourselves during this lockdown? I have learned that I have a knack of throwing away objects that my mother has hoarded all these years but don’t mean anything to us. Isn’t that the Marie Kondo method of organizing? I just know she would hire me on the spot after looking at my talent of finding things to throw out. Also, I might have developed a slight OCD, but the good part is that this is the only job in the world that would consider that a bonus skill. And yes, it did will spark joy.
If it weren’t for this lockdown, it would’ve never understood the deep passion I have for snacks and other junk food. I have the best eye for snacks and always end up getting some seriously yummy (and unhealthy) things. I wish at some point I can apply to be a snack taster at some big manufacturing company. I would be such an asset for them, and I would have all the junk food I want. Who said perfect jobs don’t exist?