Psst Guys…All Of Women Do This. These Are Kind Of Tests We Secretly Put Men Through To Check If They’re For Keeps
Yesterday, my parents completed 29 years of their marriage and looking at them, still standing by each other’s side and just as much in love as they were 29 years ago, I got to thinking just how lucky they have been to have stumbled upon each other all those years back. Because truth be told, a love like theirs, enduring through all sorts of ups and down, mid-life crisis, birth of two annoying children and whatever else that was shoved their way, is not just rare to find, it is borderline impossible. I know because being the hopeless romantic that I am, I have been trying to look for it for years now and turned up empty-handed and scarred from my experiences. Although, that may be a little untrue.
Having recently stumbled upon a guy who has somehow managed to come to the point of becoming a potential love interest in my life, I am currently in what one would call a ‘millennial woman’s love life crisis’. This is the part where, having realised that finding a Prince charming comes in a close second, right after finding the perfect shade of foundation, and you shouldn’t let it go. You try to salvage all that you have but not before screening them first.
After having my heart broken enough number of times and by all types of jerks out there, I’ve come to a point when I’ve have lost all appetite for trial and error, and want to settle down with what you’d hope to be ‘the one’. And finding out whether he really is ‘the one’ is the real quest here. Because let’s face it, there always comes a time when red flags in men aren’t red flags anymore, they are deal breakers, and it is to avoid breaking such deals at the cost of our own hearts that the millennial woman finds herself secretly testing her guy for all of these qualities –
The last relationship that I was in, went on for a good one and a half year up until the point the guy decided to strand me and stray off with another woman. It was after our break up that I realised, that the straying off had started well during the time we were still together, and I was just too blind in love to see it for what it was. Not anymore! Which is perhaps why, a wandering eye in a bar or as us millennials would call it, too many women in the DMs is never a good sign when it comes to locking the guy down for a loyalist!
The only word that even by saying out loud becomes a legit test to scare men off, is checking whether a guy has commitment issues, making this one of his most crucial tests to undertake. It’s because the guy can be very involved, smitten even by you, but if he doesn’t mean to set down roots and isn’t the kind to stick around for the long run, he really isn’t worth it. So the next time you’re out for a dinner date, don’t forget to bring up the topic of the near future you see for yourself, and see if he bolts. Because if he does, it’s time to call for the cheque!
One thing that is probably just as difficult to find in men as it is to finding men themselves, is character. The guy could be rich, successful, talented, handsome and probably GQs sexiest man of the year, but if he is the kind to whistle at the waiter, or talk down to his girl in a room full of friends, or even boast about his sexual escapades to his buddy in locker room conversations, it is just best to drop him like change and carry on. The last thing you want is to get tied down to a guy who doesn’t have a shred of gratitude, humility and chivalry, after all, these are the qualities that make or break a man!
When I am testing a guy in this aspect, I bring up the topic of an Uber driver who got too friendly and see how he deals with the conversation. Does he dismiss the guy, get angry at him? And I gauge his reaction.
One of the most important aspects to test for in a guy, this is what sets the foundation of any relationship. Whether your tastes match or not, whether your thinking aligns or not, whether you nature brings out the best or the worst in each other, whether you enjoy the same things, the same food or not, everything becomes integral into finding out whether the guy you have standing next to you, is even a fit for the missing piece in your puzzle or not! Because yes, opposites attract but you want to be aligned about the bigger things in life – that he picks over pink over blue for a shirt is fine, but if he implies that rape is a victim’s fault, then – I am going to be gone, faster than he can blink.
I like to believe that I am a rather accommodating person when it comes to being in a relationship. That is, of course, me on my best days. But on the worst days, I am no less than a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode on anyone who trespasses into my personal space. And it is for such days, which there are bound to be a lot of, that I need to know whether the guy is even equipped enough to handle me. And that is perhaps why, allowing the guy to stick around for a few fights and monthly period cycles is always a good way to check if he has what it takes to handle you, and with decency at that too!
The thing about being born in the millennial age and as a feminist at that, is that it naturally makes us strongly opinionated about almost everything in life, a.k.a an alpha woman, who as we all know, is seldom appreciated in this world full of patriarchy. Which is why, finding out whether the man is as broad minded as us is of prime importance. So the next time you’re around, have that conversation about difficult topics such as rape, and see if he’s the kind to casually slide it under the rug or the kind who has his blood boiling over the men who do it. Because if he is the latter kind, he might just be a keeper!