Poonam Pandey Going Back To Her Husband A Week After Filing A Domestic Abuse Complaint Against Him Sets A Horrible Example.

Growing up in an Indian household, I have always been taught that sustaining a marriage is the most important thing. No matter what the circumstances are, walk that extra mile and work through it. And while I agree that relationships are hard work, there are some problems that can’t be smoothed out. Domestic abuse, for instance. Which is why when Poonam Pandey said that she has gotten back with her husband, Sam Bombay, we were shocked. She had filed a complaint against him for molestation not long ago. 

Here’s the thing, thousands of women all across our country are being subjected to domestic violence at the hands of their spouses. And even though our constitution does not recognize marital sexual assault, does not make it okay. Side note: It’s one of the bigger reforms we need. Anyway, Poonam Pandey going back to her allegedly abusive husband after filing an FIR against him for molesting and threatening her leaves a sour taste in our mouths. Yes, it’s a personal choice which we fully respect but nothing in the world can justify the allegations that she levelled against her husband. 

Let me give you a quick recap. Poonam and her husband, Sam Bombay got married as recently as early September in a hush-hush ceremony. They had a live-in relationship for nearly two years. She alleged that he molested her and then threatened her with dire consequences. In her complaint, she said that the incident took place in Canacona village in south Goa where Poonam is currently shooting for a film. Sam was arrested by the Goa police and then let out on bail. 

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Now, confirming that they are back together and happier then ever, Poonam told TOI that, “We are trying to iron out things and have more or less sorted it all out. We are back together. You know what? We both love each other too much. We are madly in love. And, which shaadi does not have its ups and downs?” 

To that, Sam chimed in and said, “Everything is sorted. It all got blown out of proportion. It got distorted, I would say.” 

Personally, this makes no sense to me. It might make sense to them and I guess that’s all that matters but if you think about it, this is extremely problematic. Yes, every marriage has its “ups and downs” that much we all know. But domestic abuse and molestation can’t be put in that category. For most of us, it’s the biggest deal-breaker. As it should be. 

Also Read: Poonam Pandey Files An FIR Against Her Husband For Abuse. The Internet Unleashes Misogynistic Comments

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In an earlier interview with Spotboye, Poonam confirmed that she was in an abusive relationship. She said, “I got beaten up very badly this time, it was a half murder. I don’t know for how many days I was in the hospital. Because he is just crying in front of me and I really don’t know what to do? Every time he just beat me up and later starts crying saying sorry. This time also he did the same and promised it will not happen again and I will treat you good. But this is something he keeps doing always. Because of him, I got a brain haemorrhage.” 

That is disturbing. And now, after revealing this gruesome truth, Poonam is saying that she is going back to him because they are “madly in love”. Unfortunately, this is exactly what most women don’t understand. Love is inconsequential when domestic violence is in the picture. Love isn’t the problem, the violence is. 

However, as I said before, what we think doesn’t matter. This is a very personal and sensitive matter. What bothers me is the impression that it will have on all the women who are silently suffering through similar circumstances at home. Poonam and her husband have set a horrible example for those women. It’s never okay to go back to an abusive relationship. It’s dangerous and it gives the abuser leverage of never being held accountable. 

We hope that women understand this and not follow in Poonam’s footsteps.

https://thehauterfly.com/lifestyle/in-a-unique-initiative-victims-of-domestic-abuse-can-use-this-hand-gesture-to-ask-for-help-silently-without-alerting-the-perpetrator/