Mira Rajput Shared A Post That Talks Consent, Equality And How Movies Play A Role. And Yet, Kabir Singh Was Acceptable
Coronavirus and its consequences have been all that everyone’s been talking about, until recently when screenshots of Bois Locker Room surfaced online. A group of guys in the age group of 14 to 17 has been talking in the filthiest way possible about women, sharing nudes, and humiliating the whole of femininity. The conversations made us feel sick to our bones and were widely shared on social media by people who showed no hesitation in calling these guys out.
With that came the awareness that there are several such groups as more women decided to speak up. These guys consider nudes as souvenirs of their conquests and proudly share with their friends who in turn forward them ahead. All this while, the women who trusted and liked them enough to send them their nudes would have not a clue that their nudes are being circulated and their tits have become a topic of conversation in a group of toxic males.
These guys have been taking pictures of random girls and morphing them into nudes. They hacked the account of an influencer who had the guts to speak against them. The incident has left all of us with a rotten taste in our mouth as several women, including myself, decided to make my public profile go private. We built up walls, as our first reaction has been to protect ourselves. Yet, we are not afraid to speak up against it and this incident has garnered attention from netizens, celebrities as well as media.
Recently, Mira Rajput shared an excerpt from a three-year-old essay of journalist Rega Jha on Instagram that talks about why we need to teach our children equality to make our society safer and more thriving a place for women. In the essay, Jha has spoken about consent, respect, gender equality, and how men “aren’t entitled to any woman’s body, attention, or time.” It also read, “Instead of our parents teaching us modesty, teach your sons about personal space. Instead of teaching us to avert gazes, teach your sons to not stare.” It further asked parents to teach their sons about healthy romance. The article also says, “Your little boy will watch movies in which the hero gets the girl by stalking and harassing her. Teach your sons that what they’re witnessing is a crime.”
While I really do appreciate that Mira Rajput to speak up and make a really important point, it baffles me that earlier, she has also spoken in support of Kabir Singh. Mira said this movie was Shahid Kapoor’s time to shine. In fact, he went on to reveal that it was Mira who encouraged him to go for the film. “You know who told me to do this film before anybody else did? My wife. ‘You have to play this character. He is a crazy character. I am so fascinated by this character.’ She loved the film. She loved the fact that this guy was so flawed, yet he could love so truly,” said Shahid Kapoor.
So what happened to tell your sons that they’re witnessing a crime? That movie was a clear violation of the progress we’ve made in establishing the importance of consent, equality, and personal boundaries. Some may argue that the movie is for adults but really, have we seen adults understanding these concepts very well? The last thing we want is for guys who have been raised in a sexist environment to go watch a movie that further asserts the toxic masculinity already embedded in his system. I hope Mira understands what social impact actors have and how it can influence so many people – in a good or bad way.
Earlier, we wrote about how all of this is part of a bigger problem. In a society that’s doused with misogyny and gender stereotypes, it’s not surprising that there are several guys who don’t respect women. Sexual harassment is often a way of establishing male dominance and exertion of power. Sonam Kapoor too came forward to say it’s on parents now to raise their children right and not in an environment of sexism.
We as a society have to be so strongly against the misogyny that we have to reject it everywhere – at home, at work, among friends, in relationships, in our family and in films and music. We cannot be tolerant of songs that talk about rape, stalking, and sexual misdemeanour as romance. We can’t be serenading a character who becomes a hero by violating a woman’s dignity and personal space.
It will make no sense asking your son to respect women when they see their fathers not lifting a finger and their mothers serving them dinner. They grow up watching their sisters being given domestic duties while they are asked to go out and play a sport. It’s funny how a mother will fuss over a son and ask him what he wants her to cook for him. But when it comes to a daughter, she is expected to be the one going around the house asking everyone if they want chai or snacks. There are so many mothers who are so obsessed with their sons that they refuse to let go even when he gets married. She still wants to have more rights over him. While that is toxic, I have not seen mothers be so obsessed with their daughters. Sons grow up feeling privileged, more wanted, and superior – just by owning a penis. That sense of entitlement remains with them and the last thing we want is for them to further feel like a hero because someone goes ahead and makes movies like Kabir Singh.