Kartik Aaryan Said His TikTok Video Wasn’t Misogynistic Because His Sister Was Okay With It. Ask A Domestic Violence Victim Instead
Our views and opinions are born out of the bubble of our own stories and lives. Sometimes, from inside the cocoon of privilege, we become blind to the issues of those with experiences we can’t relate to. Lying down on our comfy bed in a pair of shorts, we don’t think somewhere a woman is being shamed for not wearing a ghoonghat. We become so oblivious and apathetic to the suffering of others that we fail to realise it’s not a legend but quite real. For instance, when Kartik Aaryan uploaded a TikTok video in which he beats his sister for making bad rotis was called out for promoting domestic violence.
He has time and again shown ignorance towards the gravity of gender issues in India – through some of his movies with underlying sexist themes, crude statements, and then this TikTok video. He should consider himself lucky because even after promoting the brand of sexism, Aaryan has been getting the benefit of doubt. Maybe he doesn’t get it; maybe he was never conditioned to spot the mistakes. But maybe it’s time he began and further justifying the TikTok video doesn’t do the trick.
Recently, in an interview, he opened up about the infamous video and defended it. “It was said that it promoted domestic violence. Think about it, if that had been the case, don’t you think my sister would have objected? Or my mom? They watched it before we uploaded it. Things are sometimes blown out of proportion as well. After I deleted the video, many people asked me why did I delete it. There are two sides to everything. You just have to go along. But I am not promoting anything,” Aaryan expressed.
So why did he delete the video? “I know it hurts some people’s sentiments, that’s why I deleted it. If someone was even slightly hurt by it, I should just delete it and not get into it. I wouldn’t really care about it,” he said.
Way to go, boy! What does he mean by “it hurts some people’s sentiments.”? Seriously? It didn’t hurt our sentiments; it hurts our brain cells, some of which committed suicide at how some people can be so oblivious to what is happening in our country. Sure, you don’t come from a family where domestic violence is a regular side dish at dinner. But there are several women who actually get thrashed by their husbands when their food isn’t perfect, like in his TikTok video which he assumed to be a fictional piece of comedy.
And I am sorry to break it to him, but his mom and sister aren’t the two woman judges of the misogyny court. Ask a woman who is a victim of domestic violence, and see if she puts the seal of ‘not sexist’ on it. Ask those several women who are stuck in this lockdown with their abusive partners, who slap not just their face but also their very integrity. Will any such woman find this video humorous? I don’t think so.
Honestly, it is this complete lack of empathy and the ability to comprehend what misogyny is, that acts as one of the major obstacles in breaking it down. In fact, Kartik Aaryan got called out because he is the celebrity sibling here, but it doesn’t mean his sister wasn’t wrong in participating in that video. And now that he says his mom was okay with it, then she shares the blame too.
I am not saying they support domestic violence, but we need to understand the sensitivity of a subject like this and not support anything that trivialises it. This is where the internalized misogyny comes into play. Women contribute to the existing gender-inequality by self-objectification, acceptance of patriarchy and traditional gender roles, putting other women down, and placing males on a pedestal. Which is why most Indian mothers fail to see and stop the sexism in his son’s marriage. They will prioritise the needs of their husbands and sons, while the women of the house are expected to partake in the serving department. How are these men going to understand that what they grew up believing has been unfair to one gender?
ALSO READ: Kartik Aaryan’s New TikTok Video Shows Him Beating His Sister For Making Bad Rotis. Why Is He Tone-Deaf And When Did Domestic Violence And Misogyny Become Funny?
Like misogyny, internalised misogyny too is inherited, from our parents but it’s time we stop carrying it like a rich legacy because it’s not. And Kartik Aaryan, like several other men in India, needs to open his eyes to what lies beyond his experiences.