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Kalank Is Out And The Internet Delivered Scathing But Hilarious Reviews. We Are Amused.

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Sometimes I think my career could take off really well as an astrologer. Simply because I feel I have the gift of making nearly on-point predictions about how well, or in this case, how badly a movie really does. Kalank released in theatres today, after what had been one of the most consistent and devoted promotions for the film, and as predicted, it was a snooze-fest.

The movie, that had its entire focus on creating curiosity among the fans by unraveling each character and the plot line, one by one, basically unraveled in to an epic bore that caused so much yawning people have complained of jaw ache. Literally everything in the movie was a case of ‘been there seen that’. From the sets to the dance sequences to the age-old story of two star-crossed lovers, everything was too predictable, even by Bollywood standards.

ALSO READ: Madhuri Dixit’s Tabaah Ho Gaye Has Us Feeling Like We’ve Seen This Before. It’s Disappointing

 

And turns out, the critics agree as they churn out the reviews for the recent release. India Today reviewed the movie as, “Kalank is painful. Not in a good, cinematic, cathartic type of way. It is just physically painful to get through the near-three-hour film and reach the end without wanting to walk out of the theatre. The only redemption in this mind-numbingly boring tale of star-cross’d love is the performance by the lead actors.”

Desimartini went ahead to say, “It is a dramatic story that requires a certain kind of execution but if for the entire running time of the film people keep delivering quotes instead of dialogues, it gets a little brutal on your nerves.”

The Financial Express too joined the party and commented, “…The film opens with a close-up shot of Sonakshi Sinha and ends with one of Alia Bhatt. In between is a more than two and half hour long slog of a yawn fest that is Karan Johar’s production Kalank.”

Yes, the protagonist pair – Alia Bhatt and Varun Dhawan have delivered strong performances in the movie, but only if the script and execution of it, was as strong as their acting, it could have been their saving grace. As for anyone who missed watching the movie, it is safe to say, you didn’t miss much.

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