Janhvi Kapoor’s Dating Conversation With Her Parents Is So Relatable

Janhvi Kapoor recently revealed that her parents Sridevi and Boney Kapoor were very strict about her dating life. They told her to bring the boy home so they could get her married off. While she reacted like any typical millennial to that, laughing it off dismissively while secretly questioning and worrying about her life, one can’t help but wonder about what it is like for other millennials in India.

Of course, she didn’t want to marry anybody at the point but the conversation with her parents seemed straight out of any middle-class household shaadi conversation. The type of talk where liberal parents ask their daughter to say if she has “anybody” in mind.  So, the parents can then whet the boy and check out whether he had good prospects. You know the “prospects” which come with questions like, “What does the boy do?” or, “How much does he make?” Because love, attraction and compatibility are only for a privileged few.

One would think that millennials would be spared these typical marriage-mart type questions but hey who will “take care” of their daughter?  The daughter may have notions of independence, what with her having a job, a life and all that but for parents, that’s just a thing their daughter does.

We understand (not fully!) that there is some taboo attached to casual sex or premarital sex, but to assume that any sort of attraction is going to lead to both parties promptly abandoning clothing and jumping into bed is a bit much, even with all the millennials being ‘loose’ theory. So that can’t be the only reason for holding back on an active dating life. It seems as though single and ready to mingle meant ready to settle down and not just in our parents’ time. So much has changed, and yet so much hasn’t.

Those who live in cosmopolitan cities may install an app or try meeting someone set up by friends but there seems to be no concept of dating to explore attraction. Not even among youth icons or role models who set #relationshipgoals. Whether it is Anushka and Virat or Deepika and Ranveer, we can’t recall desi celebs ever talking about casual dating. Most high profile Indian celebs who have dated have always kept it under the radar till they were ready to announce the wedding date. Which must make us question, have we really stepped into 2019?

A cursory glance through online dating profiles in India reveals that some people are definitely looking for soul mates while others categorically clarify that they are not looking for matrimony. Which is telling. You’re on a ‘dating’ app. You’d be on a matrimony app if you wanted someone for life, right?

Inadvertently, Janhvi has led us to stand up to long-held beliefs. Are we willing to toe the line? It remains to be seen.