#Dating101: The Dos & Don’ts Of A First Date
First dates can be daunting, and prior to it, you suddenly realise that your brain CAN accumulate a thousand and one questions at once. ‘Will it meet expectations? Will I be bored? What if I have spinach stuck in my teeth…how would I know? Are the butterflies in my tummy thanks to excitement, or are those prawns from the afternoon acting up?’ Admit it, a first date can be like treading through a minefield of awkwardness and new levels of weirdness, and if you don’t hit the nail on the head…you either end up embarrassing yourself in front of someone you really like or gain a stalker for life. In the world of Tinder and Happn, you are bound to have a couple of first dates till you actually find something that works.
The brush of hands, the gaze into each other’s eyes, the getting to know each other are what we girls look forward to on a first date. I mean, Hollywood does it well…why the hell can’t we? As much as we come from the ‘love at first sight’ culture and however much your family is pressuring you into finding ‘the one’, there are certain things you SHOULD and ABSOLUTELY SHOULDN’T do. Some rules are there for a reason, so trust me when I say you might want to follow a couple of these when you go on your first date.
P.S. This advice is subject to external risks. Even though there are no documents involved, know that this does not assure you a second date. But if you do, don’t forget to thank me!
1. You need to go back to school and do your research on the guy. Do it as a way to find out more about him, rather than going full criminal background check on his ass. You might find something you don’t like and that might just ruin your date before you give him a chance.
2. Wear something that makes you feel confident, more than looking sexy for him. If you look sexy but are highly uncomfortable, it will just distract you from the date. Go for flats if you feel you might be able to walk in them better. Nothing is more turning off than someone who looks uninterested.
3. Make conversation, but balance it out by listening to your date. While giving your own opinion, also make sure his isn’t overshadowed. I mean, it’s a first date for him too…so he is going to want to talk as well.
4. The bill is always a concern on the first date. Be assertive (not aggressive) by letting him know you’d like to split the total amount and mean it. He may insist on paying, but just in case he backs-off, you will have to stick to your word…and you don’t want to have an empty wallet now, do you?
5. This applies to everyone who has dunked-head-syndrome thanks to their smartphones. Put your phone on vibrate and flip it over while on your date. In case it’s not going well and you need an escape, use it only to call for help. Facebook scrolling amongst company is considered rude, you know, in a normal world.
1. Don’t get ahead of yourself. I know you dream big, but don’t jump the gun. You might just end up mucking things up before their time and disappointing yourself in the end.
2. I know I said research, but make sure you don’t bring up how awesome your stalking skills are on social media. Be alert about what you’re saying — he doesn’t need to know that you’re aware of his holiday in the Bahamas 3 years ago. Some crazies just don’t need to be revealed instantly.
3. Talk to him, but don’t turn it into a therapy session and discuss his issues! Listening is different from playing therapist to his mommy issues, which would work awesomely if you were getting paid by the hour. You need to keep it easy breezy and not analyse his EACH. AND. EVERY. WORD.
4. DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT, bring up an ex in any form, function, or fact! The worst line by far is, ‘oh you’re a lot like my ex’. If you hear this from the opposite side, let’s just say that that’s your red alarm to give up hopes on any relationship in the future.
5. Don’t get too personal. I know you want to get to know him, but stick to general questions that are first-date appropriate. Also don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. You might just end up opening a whole can of worms that’s just going to ruin the night.