Team Femina Recounts Moments Of Sexual Violence That Will Give You The Feels
A couple of weeks ago, as I walked across the bridge of a very crowded station, a man decided that it was okay to smack my bottom and walk into the abyss of the crowd, in the hope that I wouldn’t realise who he was, smirking at having achieved something great.
Unfortunately for me, I was unable to figure out who he was and brushed it away as ‘normal’. It wasn’t, but I’ve become so immune to being visually scanned, ‘accidentally’ brushed against, that I thought it was pointless to fight.
Last week, another one of my colleagues faced a similar issue where itchy powder was thrown at her, maybe in the hope that she’d strip to stop the pain from scratching.
The first thing that pops up in such a situation is, ‘was I wearing something provocative to call for such behaviour?’, and to be honest, it’s the first question my family would probably ask me if I were to tell them of such incidents. ‘It’s not okay to dress up like that in India, it’s fine in a place like London,’ is the first reaction I’d probably get. And this is coming from a family that isn’t conservative, the least bit.
Do I get angry? Yes. Do they understand after a point? They do. But I don’t blame them for assuming this, because our society is based on the assumption that as a woman, you invite trouble. If someone stares, it’s not cause of their dirty mind, but because you wore something too short, or revealing to ask for the unwanted body scan or unnecessary touch.
And when I caught myself slowly moving away from wearing a dress or a skirt because I didn’t want someone else to grope me, that’s when I realised it’s not about the victim — we as women need to stop taking it on ourselves!
Similarly, Team Femina recounts various issues they have faced and how it IS NOT the victim’s fault. We’ve got to stop blaming ourselves for the cause of sexual violence and not take the heat for someone else’s depravity. It’s not our shame to carry, it’s theirs, and that’s precisely what the women at Femina want to tell you. A perfect encapsulation on Women’s Day, this video is one that will stay with you. Remember it’s #NotMyShame.