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Alia Bhatt’s First Music Video Is Out And The Lyrics Imply That All Women Are Gold Diggers. What A Ton Of Rubbish!

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The way we know of any new song nowadays is when the person promotes on Instagram. And The Doorbeen got pretty lucky, getting Alia Bhatt to star in their video for their new song called Prada. Also, Alia was plenty invested in it. She has been putting up Insta stories about it, adding clippings of the video to her feed – she’s clearly excited about the entire thing. So when the song released, we obviously headed over to Youtube to check it out. We shouldn’t have. Really. Should have skipped it. Because now we are only on Tuesday and we are disillusioned.

First of all and most of all, the lyrics are so, so problematic. No, they don’t abuse. But this is worse. Way worse. So, it goes like this, ‘Akhiaan Shoni Teri, Meri Val Hunn Takdi Nahi..’ which translated mean, ‘Your eyes are mesmerising but you keep ignoring me.’ Not so bad, you think. Hold that thought. Not yet. Then he goes on to say, ‘Come closer, smile for me.’ Not unreasonable, demanding though. And then, Alia comes in and now it’s starting to fall apart. ‘Promise me something. You buy me a Prada. Otherwise you will have to look from afar.” WTF?

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What just happened? The guy was just being, well, very Indian in his game, asking her to smile in return for complimenting her and instead of asking him to fuck off, Alia goes on to say this. Implying, and not even subtly, that if she were to be plied with Prada, he would have access to her. We are in 2019, why are such lyrics still being peddled as music. But because I am a person who’s dedicated and will power through – heck I might even watch a Taher Shah video- I watched the whole video. All of it. And nope, it doesn’t get better. If anything, it gets worse. Alia croons and says if she’s not given a Prada, she will simply find someone else. Gold digger vibes came at me through the freaking screen!

One half of the people are that The Doorbeen then start to sing about there simply isn’t enough time for never-ending demands and that she’s causing his pockets to be empty. Take pity on me he says. Oh we are. As is anyone who is subjected to this atrocious number being passed off as a song.

It doesn’t stop there. Alia demands heels from Paris and handbag from LA. And a world tour. While the poor guy has just finished singing about how he wants to fulfil all her demands but needs time and adds, quite cockily, that she might not find anyone else.

I *maybe* dedicated, but at this point I had to stop. I couldn’t watch any more.

Look, people who make these music videos. Putting people in cool clothes against neon does not a good music video make. Then dancing with strange makeup and cool closeups will not compensate for your lack of understanding of how the world has changed. Don’t throw in an Alia Bhatt there so we will watch your video.

I can’t believe such songs are still being made and promoted as ‘club’ numbers. We talked about how Honey Singh’s lyrics are problematic and then this comes about and we might as well take our indignation and shove it under our bed. Coz clearly, no one is listening.

This is 2019 baby. I will buy myself a fucking Prada if I want one. I will take myself on a world tour and I will walk around in my Louboutin heels brought with my own money. And I will do this while I smash your toxic masculinity with my stilettos.

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Mansi Shah is the resident humour writer and random conversation starter. Tends to laugh manically at puns. Deeply enjoys the blunt force of sarcasm. Preys on chauvinists and people with incorrect grammar. Hoards makeup and beauty products. Attacks Nutella with vigour.

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