A Guide For The Confused And Misogynistic Male To Playing Holi This Year. Because Hum Bura Maante Hai.
Till I was a kid, festivals like the one approaching us right now – Holi, was a fun experience to play with colour, partake in some masti and spend time with friends. It filled me with happiness. Now, it fills me with dread. Now it has been reduced from once being a day to make merry to an excuse for men to into the arena ground, colour in hand and sickening intentions in mind, waiting for any and every chance they get to be inappropriate with women. Courtesy #BuraNaMaanoHoliHai. Except, having been grown up in a time when that slogan has only led to more and more cases of assault and a few times, even rape.
India is widely known and often celebrated for the kind of festivals and events that it celebrates but is also equally known for taking away the religion and meaning out of them and making it all about one thing – demeaning and/or assaulting women. In what seems like a universal agenda, misogynistic and entitled males take to the streets, looking for reasons to attack women.
The only difference being, while on usually such things happen with no excuse other than their enormous desperation, on Holi, excuses like bhaang take over. And even after blaring from rooftops about how nothing is good enough an explanation to molest a woman for, we find ourselves yet again, spelling it out for men as to how they can play Holi without accidentally or intentionally wronging a woman. Which is why, as the millennials this year gear up to welcome this festival of colours, we would like to issue a guideline that should be the only thing to come handy.
Also Read : Can Someone Please Explain Why All The Stars Are In Designer Wear At A Holi Bash?
Consent Is Key
Having repeated it more number of times than one can even count at this point, a concept that should ingrain itself in every mind by now, still somehow eludes people. Especially during a festival like Holi, that is no less than a contact sport in India. No matter, the woman in front of you is your mother, sister, daughter, aunt or friend, it is about time that men realise they aren’t entitled to touch any one without first seeking consent and that is that.
Consent Is Not An Excuse
While we have established that consent is key in this and every other situation involving a woman, it is important to also establish that what consent isn’t, is an excuse. Soon after you get the aforementioned consent, it is important to remember not to take unfair advantage of it and dupe the woman. When a woman allows you to put colour on her, she is only allowing you to put colour on her. She is not allowing you to hold her down, take your hands on a field trip on her body while she screams no, or force yourself on her.
Anonymity Shouldn’t Be Abused
The colours, the water, the many people and the bhaang will offer you the cloak of anonymity. This doesn’t mean you take advantage of it. Don’t go around using this as an excuse to touch women. Because we might not be able to recognise you immediately, but we will forever hate men.
Keep An Open Mind
Holi or any other festival at that, is meant to be played and enjoyed by everyone, and all it needs is colour and a will, and definitely not your unsolicited judgement. From young to old, married to widowed, everyone is entitled to take part in the festivities and don’t need to be made felt unwelcome or bad about it. Hands and noses where they belong please!
Step Up
A woman does not have to be related to you, for you to be able to step up and take care of them in a situation where you see they could get hurt. If the men of the society, do actually make that conscious effort of keeping the women around them safe, maybe we’d finally begin to see them as the men they are and not monsters. This Holi, try to be vigilant for the women around and make it just as safe for them.
