7 Lessons You Will Learn From Your First Ever Break-Up
Falling in love for the first time comes with a high that you just can’t describe. From being a googly-eyed girl, to a giggling blob of mush, life seems like a rose garden. And the moment that garden catches fire, all hell breaks loose!
Break-ups can be a massive biatch, there’s no denying that! No matter how long the relationship has been, having your better half (or worse in this case) end things abruptly can have a massive impact on EVERYTHING.
For all those who have experienced a break-up, you’d know that 95% of the time those darn rom-coms have got it right. You do go through the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Sadly, you need to go through what feels like eternity to finally stop grieving.
The point being, break-ups are painful, but they are also a great way to learn things about yourself — how much chocolate chip ice-cream your body can actually take, your capacity to re-watch really bad rom-coms, and of course, how to deal with relationships, heartbreak, and rejection a lot better!
Here are 7 things you will ending up learning the hard way through your first ever break-up!
1.’Closure’ is just a word.
In the words of Rachel Green, “And that my friends is closure.” Nope it isn’t. Talking to your friends, family, and taking advice from the likes of Rachel, Samantha, or Carrie is not going help you achieve closure.
Closure is something you can only achieve once YOU yourself accept that the relationship is officially over. It is an epiphany that only you can dwell upon by moving on and making peace with the situation.
2. You Cannot Change Anyone.
This is one life lesson you always learn the hard way, but it’s a valuable one. You cannot change a person. Yes, we’ve seen it in the movies — the bad boy turns good for the girl of his dreams. But no! That isn’t the case in real life. People cannot change drastically, and you shouldn’t expect them to, just because of you.
Which brings us to another valuable lesson: When someone shows you who they are, believe them!
3. There isn’t just the ‘one’.
As much as we’d like to believe what Nicholas Sparks has put out in the fictional world of romance, you are going to find more than just one person you connect with. SRK definitely had it wrong when he said ‘pyaar bhi ek baar hi hota hai‘, because you and I know that THAT isn’t true!
Over time, you’re going to meet more people you connect with — these may turn into amazing relationships, or fabulous friendships.
4. Prioritise yourself.
When you’re in a relationship, all you want to do is spend time with your partner and do things as a couple. The sad part is that sometimes, this might result in you losing yourself in the bargain.
In your first relationship you probably spent every waking moment with your partner… that’s okay. But post the break-up, you will realise that it’s also important to have a life outside of the relationship. Keep your friends separate from your boyfriend’s friends, mingle and meet new people that do not have a connection with your relationship.
Learn to focus on yourself and your growth too!
5. Discover what you want from relationships.
Your first relationship is a gateway into what exactly you want, and most importantly, don’t want from a relationship. Break-ups happen for a reason, they don’t come out of nowhere! Your past relationship will allow you to evaluate what truly matters to you, what exactly it is you’re looking for, what you loved and of course, what you hated!
It is also a great way to learn new things about yourself as a partner and better it with each relationship!
6. It Wasn’t A Waste Of Time.
You take a whole lot of experience and insights from each relationship. No matter how long you were dating, or how good or bad the relationship, don’t ever think that you wasted your time being with that person! Remember at some point, they were someone you chose to be with!
Take it as a stepping stone rather than failure, and learn from your relationship — it’ll only make you a better person!
7. You’re stronger than you think.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! And that’s one of the biggest lessons you’re going to learn from this break-up. Diamonds aren’t diamonds without all the pressure and once you move past your relationship you’ll realise that you’ve come out way stronger, both emotionally and mentally than you were when you went into it.