Why I Still Believe In Love Even After Heart Breaks And Shitty Dating Trends
I believe that we are stuck in a vicious cycle of heartbreaks and breaking hearts, drenched in the venom of fear and insecurities. Of course, there are assholes who play you like a guitar but I’d like to believe most people have good intentions. We don’t go around looking for hearts to break. It’s the experience we’ve collected and decoded from a pov of cynicism that makes us bitter. And when we ourselves are afraid of love and to be vulnerable, we end up hurting the person who was offering us all they had. That human becomes bitter too and goes on to spread this to other people. It’s a pandemic we didn’t see coming and yet it’s been here for quite some time.
Instead, I believe in loving like I’ve never been hurt. I will get smitten again. I will not play those terrible dating games or hurt another person as a defense mechanism. Because with that attitude, we aren’t just harming ourselves but also another person.
I wouldn’t say I am freshly baked; there has been wear and tear. But essentially, I have taken lessons from my past encounters and recently, I have become more aware of the damage those did. So as I work on undoing that, I am hopeful romance will find its way into my heart again. And if anything, I wish other people scared of commitment, healing, and more. Here’s why I still believe in love, wholeheartedly. Hope it inspires.
1) Love doesn’t hurt, people do
I have heard so many people lash out at love as if that’s solely defined by their bitter experiences. There’s really nothing wrong with relationships. Aren’t we glad we have friends? And aren’t we fond of them? So why do we make romantic affection such a villain? If you can’t be best friends with your partner, you’re not doing it right. It’s us, the people who mess it up and give love a bad rep.
2) Without emotions, it’s all empty calories
I know there are people who can handle casual sex and make a lifestyle out of it. But I can’t be content with that. The kind of connection I need runs deeper and involves a lot of feelings otherwise the sex is just junk. But with idolatry it’s so wholesome, you feel nourished and more sex-positive. Although, sometimes I wish I did enjoy casual sex because what do you do when you don’t have love in your life? Damn, I didn’t think this through.
3) There is enough affection out there, we just have to be open to it
People are not assholes, they just emotionally challenged and cynical of relationships. That guy you loved but who didn’t want to commit was probably not fucking around. He was scared to be vulnerable and you caught him at the wrong time in his life. Hopefully, when you expand your definition of romance, you will be able to attract people who have healed and ready to love again. There is no scarcity of affection, it’s all out there!
4) And work on ourselves so we know how to sustain it
We have to heal too. And not just that, we need to understand that endearment is not enough to sustain a relationship. Are we willing to work on becoming a better person? Be someone who understands, accepts, and doesn’t run at a slight hiccup. But also be the person who knows their worth and will not accept another person to step on their self-esteem. There’s a fine line between healthy inter-dependence and unhealthy codependency. Be mindful of that!
5) Relationships that didn’t last had love too so why be bitter?
Did we have less affection just because things didn’t work? Why do we see it as that magic glue that holds people together? It’s something that grows with time. And at a point where you deeply cared for each other and made memories, that’s love too! I don’t want to undermine what there was just because it didn’t last. Life will be so much better without spite, grudges and cynism. For instance, we’d be doing humanity a huge favour by loving better.