Why Don’t Men Dress Well For Dates? We Put So Much Effort Into Looking Occasion Appropriate
I don’t always care to dress up when going out; sometimes, shorts and a top-knot does the job for me. Of course, my partner must see me in my OG avatar and not just have unrealistic expectations that I will turn up like a diva all the time. But when it is an official date – like when you have planned in advance and you’re going to paint the town red – I dress up. I put makeup on, even mascara and kajal and that is big deal. After coming from the date, I have to take all that off or I can just wake up with panda eyes. Men on the other hand refuse to dress up even for a fancy date.
Waxing before the date, taking a nice long shower, washing my hair, and also blow-drying them – all this is just the prep. Then comes wearing a nice outfit, good shoes and smelling good. Okay, it is not entirely to please my date. But when I dress well, it just makes me feel good. How often do you get to let your hair down and look stunning? I don’t do that often so date night is an excuse for me to dress well. Like weddings are, but let’s not talk about these two things in the same article or several commitmentphobes will freak.
So while women do have a sense of dressing for the occasion, why is it that our men are just so clueless about it? Last year, I went looking stunning (I wore my hot dress) on my date with this guy. Now picture this – I arrived fashionably (or not) late and he was already waiting for me at the table. As I walked into the bar in anticipation, there he was – in a tee so casual that he would be underdressed at the gym wearing it!
Oh boy, what a disappointment that was. I didn’t hold it against him because I did like him a lot but hello, would it have killed you to turn up in a nice shirt? I understand that you don’t need to be dressed up to have fun because I did have a lot of fun that night. But I would still like to see men put some effort into dressing for the date. As a couple, we like to be in sync, and with one person looking like they are going to a date and another looking like they’re volunteering at a beach clean is just not exciting.
And there have been so many dates where men turned up so not dressed for the occasion. I mean, I know being proper is supposedly a very British thing to do, but really, they won’t take offence if Indian men dressed appropriately. In fact, it just says that they are putting effort into their dates – that they are excited about it.
I found a Reddit thread that talks about why men don’t dress date-appropriate. And I am surprised it’s so common! “Many times I have seen women, of different ages, dressed beautifully to go out. They are wearing pretty dresses, have their hair done, nice shoes and accessories, make-up… The whole nine yards. And the guy is wearing jeans or even shorts, an unpressed shirt and a baseball cap (even while sitting down to dinner in a nice restaurant). As a woman, if you put that much time, effort and thought into looking great for an evening and your date looked like he could have been heading to the pool hall with his buddies, how would you feel? How would you react? I would be very put out!” the user wrote.
“For me, it all depends on where we are going for the date. I always have my makeup and hair done, that’s my normal look. So, if we are just meeting for coffee or something, I won’t expect him to dress any differently than he normally would. If we are going on a more formal date, I’d expect him to dress up for the occasion, otherwise, it looks like he doesn’t care. I should add though, that a guy who dresses sloppily is a turn off. I don’t need him to wear suits and ties all the time or anything, but I don’t find it attractive when guys wear baggy clothes, or have absolutely no sense of fashion at all,” a user commented. This is exactly my point.
Relationship coach Laurel House told Well And Good, “Some guys are truly simply clueless. They don’t realize that their stretched-out shirt and sneakers aren’t attractive.” She further adds, “Some guys don’t want to appear to be putting too much effort into it in an attempt to not appear desperate or too excited. They feel like their low-key look might make a date feel the need to chase him.”
Now I know it wasn’t a date but did you see how Akshay Kumar turned up in casuals for the promotions of Laxmmi Bomb while Kiara Advani came looking stunning in a saree. Do you remember Ed Sheeran and Beyonce’s stage outfits? She wore a glamorous gown and he turned up in a tee. I mean, I really like it when people are in sync you know. Is it that men don’t feel the pressure to look good while women feel that they need to look good in order to make a good impression?
I feel it’s perfectly alright to dress down on a casual date but I would feel disappointed if he turns up looking like he’s at a baseball game on a fancy one. So men, can we please make dating old fashioned again and you can tidy up before arriving? Like Cher said in Clueless, “It looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair—ew—and cover it up with a backwards cap and we’re supposed to swoon?” she asks and then adds, “I don’t think so!” Yep, that!