This Guy Asked His Bride To Not Wear A White Gown Because She Isn’t A Virgin. Why Is She Even Marrying This Idiot?
There’s a lot of patriarchy in our world and it’s a fact that we just can’t deny or ignore. People are so concerned if a woman is a virgin or not. We assume that the patriarchy is more or less contained in the older generation, as they have grown up with less exposure to liberating knowledge. It’s common for our grandparents to treat the sons and daughters differently. Even the bride’s parents are so cautious during our weddings, acting like they are walking on eggshells and making sure “ladke waale” don’t find the suffocating hospitality not enough. In my home, it’s been a journey and my parents have become woke over a period of time. It’s definitely got something to do with having three daughters who are independent thinkers.
So I tend to think that we as a generation—that has had access to so much literature on feminism and gender equality—are responsible to wake our elders too. This is why when I come across young men with such backward thinking, it shocks me. What went wrong, bro? how are you still living in biblica times?
Turns out, a guy has asked his to-be-bride (not likely now) to not wear white on the wedding day because she isn’t a virgin. And he is so confident of what he has done, he was expecting netizens to side with him. With the hope of some validation of his asshole-ry, he posted the situation on Reddit.
He wrote: “So me (32M) and my soon to be wife (23F) are planing to get married in a few months. I come from a very religious house hold with strong Christian beliefs and one of the traditions in my family is if the woman getting married isn’t still a virgin they shouldn’t wear a white dress on their wedding day. My family knows my soon to be wife wasn’t a virgin when I met her because my mom asked me when I started dating her if she was pure, and I was honest and told her she had boyfriends before she met me. My wife was really upset when I asked her if she could wear a coloured dress on our wedding day but she agreed, so we’re looking at getting glittery blue dress instead. Now she’s saying she won’t marry me because she’s too humiliated by the whole situation, but I really don’t see how it’s a big deal.”
People unanimously agreed that he is the asshole here. “YTA. For a dude marrying a girl nearly a decade younger, you sure are worried about what mommy thinks,” a guy wrote. An old woman said, “I am a 65-year-old Christian grandmother and that is an unkind, judgemental and controlling thing for you to do.” Shame on you dude, a 65-year-old woman is more woke than you are.
Some people said revealing your bride’s virginity status to the world is really not a Christian thing to do. “Truly it is spirit crushing to hear when people pretend that this kind of finger-pointing idea is Christian in nature. He makes all things new,” a user wrote. Another user added, “I can’t believe you’re trying to publicly shame her on your wedding day. Are you a virgin? Should you wear something on to identify your shame?! She should run!”
Firstly, why the hell does he have to discuss his future wife’s sex life with his mother? Secondly, if she can’t trust you with that, why would she want to marry you? I mean, I would expect my husband to not go around telling his parents of my dating history. He acted like an asshole and broke her trust.
“And how on earth did you think it was ok to discuss your girlfriend’s sexual history with anyone other than her? The only acceptable response to your mother asking about it was, ‘That’s not an appropriate question. You need to back off.’ Reading this made my skin crawl,” a user wrote.
People wrote she can wear whatever dress she wants to and he has no right to comment on that. A user wrote, “Yes, it is a big f***ing deal to tell your future wife she’s unworthy of wearing a white dress to her own wedding. What the f***?” Another one added, “She can wear whatever dress she wants. If you hold that much judgement maybe she should move on and find someone who accepts her for her.”
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This is terrible that a woman has to publicly display her sexual history on her wedding day while there’s no way for the groom’s sexual history to be on the blackboard. So is he allowed to wear a tux or will he have to come in just a shirt if he is not a virgin? Or is there a colour coding for men? We’ve come a long way and I haven’t seen people follow this so blindly. Wake up, 32-year-old waste of youth and exposure.
“If you want to love and honour her as your wife ask her forgiveness and God’s for being unkind and encourage her to choose whatever dress she wants,” a user wrote. Well, she deserves better.