Study Says Sex Is More Important To Men’s Happiness Than Women’s. This Mindset Is Why Women’s Orgasms Take A Backseat
Sex is an exquisite and intriguing aspect of our lives. If you are having it, chances are that it will have a substantial impact on your life. It may make you vivacious and happy or make you feel regretful. Even the lack of it can affect your mood. It’s rare to find someone who goes through sex without any aftereffects. In fact, I wouldn’t want to!
A study by Tracking Happiness would like us to believe that gender has something to do with the amount of glee people feel post-sex. They surveyed 665 men and 482 women between the ages of 15 and 60. They had one question – “Which five words do you associate most with ‘happiness’?”
The participants were given a list of words: “Laughter/Cheer, Joy, Pleasure, Satisfaction, Contentment, Safety/Security, Purpose in life, Love, Relationships, Family, Wealth, Freedom/Independence, Health/Well-being, Sex, Enlightenment and Other. “
The study points out that 20% of male respondents included sex in their list while only 8% of female respondents did the same. This means that men were 250 % more likely to associate happiness with sex. “Our findings suggest that sex is much more important for men’s happiness when compared with the happiness of women,” the study would like us to believe.
Misconceptions And Orgasms
They would want us to believe that this is because of the orgasm frequency disparity between men and women. A Study by Psychology Today explains women are less likely to orgasm from intercourse. In their survey, 40% of women said they orgasmed during sex and 80% of men said they do. So the chances of me getting an orgasm are half as compared to the guy I will have sex with.
It’s quite likely that this is the reason women didn’t pick sex as the top five sources of their happiness. But could it also be that fewer women are likely to admit to enjoying sex unabashedly? It doesn’t matter if the responses are recorded anonymously, we are often struggling with shame and taboo associated with sex. Somehow, we are conditioned to think that enjoying sex makes you all sorts of negative things! How many women even admit to masturbating? In fact, so many women don’t do it because oh my God, men have a monopoly over DIY pleasures.
In fact, when it comes to the orgasm disparity, is it the cause or the effect of this mindset? When we have studies reaffirming and supporting misplaced notions that sex is more important for men’s happiness, we make women’s sexual satisfaction a secondary thing. This is also the attitude that leads men to walk into the bedroom expecting to be pleased. Before we know it, he is done and you are left hanging on the cliff of your orgasm. It’s quite problematic if women aren’t able to claim as much happiness from sex as men can.
There is no gender disparity in sexual cognition
It is a common belief that men think more about sex than women do. Much more, in fact. However, a study found that there is little to no difference between sexual cognitions in men and women. “The ﬁnding that there was no difference in the degree to which estimated sexual cognitions and tally counts were correlated in men and women suggests that the sexes are equivalent in the accuracy (or lack thereof) of their retrospective reports of sexual cognition,” the study reports.
In fact, it furthers my belief that the gender disparity found in the happiness quotient of sex largely lies in the stigma attached to it. “It is possible that at least part of this sex difference is due to a greater reluctance on the part of women to report such cognitions. In light of the stereotype that men think much more often about sex than do women, some young women, particularly those with greater discomfort with sexuality, may be reluctant to report that they think about sex very often,” the study concludes.
So here’s my question: If both men and women are thinking about sex equally, then how come it’s more important to men’s happiness than women’s?
It’s not sex but orgasms that make people happy
If men were to have sex without orgasming most of the time, would they still continue to care for it or switch to a handjob? It’s not the sex making us happy, it’s the orgasms! And since women get guaranteed orgasms from masturbation, it’s possible sex (selfish sex!) isn’t on top of our lists.
So if they would have put “orgasms” instead of “sex” on the list, the results would make more sense to women. Right now, it seems like a half-baked study from men’s perspective.
ALSO READ: In 1976, Shere Hite Wrote About Orgasms, Masturbation And Female Sexuality Upsetting Many Men. Rest In Power, Always.
But here’s the good thing: People value love more than just sex
While the study is focusing on sex and happiness, here’s some good news! The data shows that most people included love in their top five sources of happiness, followed by family, joy, wellbeing, and satisfaction. In fact, another reason that fewer women included sex in the top five sources of happiness could be that there are things like safety and freedom also on the list. Most men would take that for granted but ask a woman if she would go through a secluded lane in the middle of the night to see a casual hookup and it’s not quite likely to happen.
I think all of us just want a lot of love and satisfaction in life. Multiple orgasms can be a consequence of the former and the cause of the latter! So let’s just say orgasms make everyone happy and gender has nothing to do with it. Maybe then the world will start giving two hoots about women’s pleasure too.