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Dating

#Relationships: If I Have To Ask For Your Attention, I Don’t Want It

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I wouldn’t say I enjoy attention from everyone. Okay, a slight sprinkle of attention doesn’t hurt but I really don’t have the energy to invest in a lot of people. This is why I have a tighter circle of people but they are very close to me and I know I am loved very much by them. So when I fall in love, I want my man to give me a lot of affection. Like dating me means unlimited hours of cuddling, getting the warmest hugs and being kissed all over your face. I will be like a pet cat who wants affection to feel content in life. At the same time, I want his attention too. Unfortunately, my ex made me feel as if I am asking for too much and I kind of believed him. I believed that I have this enormous need for attention and not like I was gonna dismiss it but I realised, it’s not so huge.

So I started seeing this other guy who expected me to expect a lot from him and honestly, I was like why. Nope, I don’t want to meet you every day. I don’t expect you to leave all your work to talk to me. I don’t know who he dated before me, but I have a life too, bro. So after I dated both these extremes, I realised, that nope, my need and demand for attention isn’t unjust. I have been gaslighted by those who couldn’t handle it.

But here’s the thing, the moment you get done with it, these guys want to come back. It happens like clockwork. Then they want to give you all the attention in the world, which honestly means nothing. Remember this, no matter how great it feels.

 

  • It should come naturally to him

I know several people are able to just ask for it but I can’t. Don’t expect me to ask for you to show up on my birthday or calling me up when I am upset. These things come naturally and if they have to be forced, I don’t want that synthetic kinda love.

  • If I have to repeat myself over and over again, clearly he doesn’t value me

Sometimes, we just have different love languages or maybe the guy is really inexperienced when it comes to dating. Maybe his ex needed more space and now he is used to giving that much. Yeah, I can make several scenarios in my head to defend him and give him the benefit of doubt. But hey, if I have told you what I need, and you still don’t care then I am not going to beg for it. It’s just that simple!

  • If he doesn’t care about hurting you, it’s not worth it

As long as you are the one getting hurt, he is all cool and living his life, not bothered about fixing things. But when the tables turn and you stop giving him attention and start drifting away, he is suddenly all ears. He starts treating you well because he is now, getting hurt. Not because you were hurt.

  • I would rather have someone I mean the world to

Why should I settle for these half-hearted fools? I don’t want your substandard attention. I would rather date someone who showers love and attention on me, without me having to ask for it. Why should I waste my time for it from you?

ALSO READ:#Relationships: What His Kissing Style Says About Him

  • I am not going to deny my needs and be one-sidedly selfless

Been there, done that and realised it’s the stupidest thing ever. I won’t give you attention until I get some. Most men can’t handle half of the shit they give women. So turn the table ladies and give them a dose of their own medicine. Respect your needs and stop giving out charity, one-sided attention.

ALSO READ:It’s Important To Allow Yourself To Grieve A Breakup, Explains A Therapist On Twitter

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