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Dating

Networking On Tinder, Flirting On LinkedIn And Sexting On LudoKing, Indians Have It All Mixed Up

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Tinder launched in India in 2016 and back then, we didn’t really have a designated app for dating. Of course, people were chatting up in chatrooms and sending ‘can we be frands’ messages to women. I was younger and stupider back then and believed just anything. So I heard of a couple of bloggers joining the app to expand their network and I ended up believing that was a thing. I was like, networking on a dating app? Sure, count me in. Except I didn’t know it was dating app. There I was, installing the app and selecting both men and women in preferences. What ended up happening was I mistakenly matched with women seeking same-sex relationships and men, well, seeking just relationships.

Yeah, it was very silly of me but I did end up using the app for its real purpose for a bit and met some really cool guys. Damaged, looking for just “casual” but smart and kinda hot.

Recently, a journalist put up a post on Twitter saying she met a guy on Tinder who was preparing for UPSC exam and was using the app for…educational purposes. Erm, what? “Met a guy on Tinder who said he is preparing for UPSC exam. I asked about the other girls he matched with. He said he matched with two others who are also preparing for UPSC exam and are using Tinder to clear their doubts. Never knew @Tinder_India could also be an educational app,” she wrote.

Wow, what is next? Parents signing their children up on a dating app instead of sending them to tuitions? To be fair, several people in India even like to find a life partner who is in a similar profession. We have all read ads that go like ‘MBBS man seeking a woman also in the field of medicine.’ Oh, that’s a nice woman. Wait, you’re a teacher? My high-earning, ambitious family will not be happy with my under-achievements in finding a spouse. So that guy was probably thinking that he will clear his doubts and along the way, if they click, who knows a date would be around the corner? He probably doesn’t even know how to date or strike a conversation that doesn’t revolve around studies. Maybe, this is his best bet.

Replies started pouring in and some people were so shocked, they declared the whole story a hoax. People couldn’t possibly be networking on a dating app. They refused to believe that it is possible that people use Tinder for work and education. Oh boy, when men can use LudoKing to score themselves some sexting, LinkedIn to find romances to feel the void of their sexless lives, then why not believe that dating app has some misuse too? I bet most of you will relate. I have been matched with some really obnoxious players on the Ludo app who just want to chat and ask you sexual questions, after finding out your “asl” which is age, sex, location. LinkedIn will have people not even remotely related to my profession adding me up and messaging me unprofessional things. Why?

And then we go on dating apps and just want to match with someone that could help in our career. “Still remember how a friend who was a pr person was on Tinder to network with ppl in the city apparently. I mean Indians have no chill,” another user added. “Gosh, I too matched with a CA aspirant on Tinder, and when she got to know about my profession, she started asking my guidance to how to prepare for exams. WTF. I was there to get some action, not to give pep talks,” said a user.

So recently I installed Bumble, a dating app essentially but which comes with just friendship and work feature. I have been using their BFFs and networking feature and it has been great so far. You are able to connect with so many people from diverse backgrounds and it is perfect. I matched with a belly dancer teacher, a chocolatier and an ecostay resort owner. Belly dance, dessert, vacation – I love this! I bet these guys got several leads over the app. But this feature is specifically for networking, so it kinda meets its purpose.

Indian youth is an ambitious lot. Most of us come from middle-class families, some of us have so much parental pressure  to excel in our field or forever be seen as a failure, that it gives us major anxiety. We will end up feeling like a failure ourselves if we don’t make it as soon as others in our age group do. Exams are competitive, startups are struggling to survive and self-employed individuals are trying hard to make ends meet. Even then, just a few of the lot make it and don’t shut shop few years down the line. Even those who are employed, it’s a cut-throat competition. People are acting like fish out of water and making desperate attempts at working things out. Working through the weekends, putting in extra hours during weekdays and obsessing over work – even while on dating apps. Then, networking on a dating app doesn’t seem like such a far-fetched idea.

According to the Hindustan Times-MaRS Youth Survey-2017, youngsters admitted to worrying themselves away from sound sleep. Out of those, over 64% said it was due to the fear of exams and 45% said it was because of emotional troubles. “This is the pattern we see in our clinics. Examinations – especially competitive tests – are a major cause of stress and anxiety for people in this age bracket,” Dr Sameer Malhotra, director of mental health and behavioural sciences at Delhi’s Max Hospitals told HT.

ALSO READ: Woman Meets A Guy While Playing Ludo Online, Rejects His Advances. Guy Circulates Obscene Videos Of Woman. Be Careful With What You Share Online

“The study, which received response from 186 entrepreneurs (of family run businesses and new age entrepreneurs) from the ASCENT cohort, between the age group of 20 to 60 years, showed that stress due to financial cash flows, fear of failure and disagreements with partners or family members are the top stressors, irrespective of their age and years in business. Majority of the respondents (40%) were in the 40-50 years age group, while 34% were in the 30-40 years age group,” reports Economic Times.

Indians know no chill and we are an anxious lot, whether it comes to making a good career or finding a date. So networking on a dating app? We will take it . I guess the desperate attempts show as people go on a rampage looking for leads, even on apps that are not meant to serve that specific purpose!

ALSO READ: Dating Trends: Is He Really Progressive Or Are You Being ‘Wokefished’?

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