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Dating

If You Take Me For Granted And Don’t Realise My Value Until It’s Over, You’re Not Even Worth It. Here’s Why

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I believe it’s human nature to take a person for granted when they are giving too much in the relationship. It, among many other things, does make our species pathetic! What is the point if he takes me for granted? At this point, if you are selfless and understanding to a fault, the other person will stop valuing you? And that happens between friends, colleagues, and family members as well. It’s just how we are. In fact, haven’t you ever taken someone for granted?

If you say that you never took your loved ones for granted, you are probably lying to yourself. We sometimes do it unknowingly but those of us who essentially respect people, come to our senses soon. When our loved ones communicate about how they feel, we realise that we’ve been out of line or treating them less than they deserve. That realization is very important because it decides whether your relationship will last or not.

But why does it happen that so many men take the good girls for granted and don’t realise their value until it’s over? Yes, I love you but it doesn’t mean I love myself less. If you’re going to come and crap all over my self-esteem, love can get you forgiveness only a limited number of times. Love can make me be selfless but when I see, you’re not, eventually, I will resent you.

If you’re comfortable with me hurt, then you don’t deserve me

My ex who claimed to be deeply in love with me was beyond comfortable with the way things were. He was happily basking in the light of all the advantages he had in the relationship. So that was his excuse to not to make any changes. Because you see, that would establish equilibrium and it never seems like a benefit to the one in power. And guess what? He didn’t lift a finger to fix any issues even after I tried different ways of communicating them. Of course, until I actually walked out and he was the one hurting. You do even one-sixteenth of the things you’ve been through to them and they get so hurt. I am sorry but you can’t be in love with someone and be comfortable with their hurt at the same time.

You’re essentially selfish

People who are considerate naturally don’t need to be reminded to treat others, especially your girlfriend nicely. In fact, when you talk to them about how you have been feeling, they try their best to fix it, even if it causes them inconvenience. I cannot imagine dating someone and not being bothered enough to care about them. Bro, you’re selfish and that won’t change. So what do you do? Change your boyfriend.

I cannot be stuck in the same cycle

If he bothers to fix things only when you are ready to walk away, chances are he will get back to not valuing you once he has you again. And maybe you already know that, because that’s a pattern you have observed – being treated well after a fight and then like trash again once you’re nice to him. I don’t want to be stuck in this vicious cycle. You cannot make a person considerate, it comes naturally.

I love myself too much for this shit

Yes, if he has been taking me for granted or mistreating me over and over again, I will just walk away. I don’t care how much you meant to me. I don’t care if it will hurt. But I cannot have a guy hurt my self-worth. If you’re gonna treat me like your side-kick, and not a leading lady, then I might as well ask you to find another apprentice. That’s not me.

ALSO READ: What Is Love Bombing? And 5 Signs He Is Using It To Manipulate You

You’re too late

It sucks when these guys suddenly realise that they love us “a lot” and they want to “fix things”. But why wait until your feelings are charred? If you wait till you lose me before deciding to make amends, then boy, you’re too late! Worse is, then they start acting like they are the victims and we are the mean person who doesn’t know how to sustain a relationship. All of a sudden, they have all the maturity to make a relationship last and of course, it means forgiving your partner. But when it comes to actually be a good partner, where is their understanding of relationships? Don’t feel guilty for standing up for yourself, ladies. You do deserve better.

ALSO READ: Is He Taking You For Granted? Take This Relationship Quiz To Find Out!

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