Does Your Partner Make You Feel Like You’re Too Emotional Or Dramatic? 5 Reasons This Hurts You
I would like to say that I handle grief pretty well and come out of it with minimal damage. If you ask me, the most important factor that helps me is that I tell myself whatever I am feeling is natural. I may be overwhelmed and crying my eyes out when nobody is watching but I never feel guilty for that. I don’t judge myself for being vulnerable or having made stupid decisions in love. It’s very important to believe that what you’re feeling is natural and that’s the first step of overcoming it. Denial and opposition doesn’t resolve anything.
I need the same treatment from my partner as well. Again, this may sound really lame but I am sensitive and I own it so…whatever. I was dating this guy who was really amazing and warm. But whenever I expressed hurt his response was such that I felt invalidated. And you know what that does to me? I feel more hurt and the waterworks start and then I have another reason to be mad about. Definitely not how conflicts are resolved. Even when we used to talk it out later after both of us cooled down, I used to tell him that I don’t care who is right or wrong, whether it’s a misunderstanding or what – just don’t make me feel like my feelings are invalid.
It made me feel so small and at the end, it doesn’t matter how much you get along. If you can’t resolve your conflicts in the right way, things will go downhill. I still have the highest regard for him, but I believe he has a lot to learn when it comes to handling complex feelings. I too need to balance my moods. Here’s why it’s so important that your partner doesn’t invalidate your emotions.
It makes you feel that your partner doesn’t understand you
I really am okay with difference of opinion. In fact, I think it’s healthy sometimes and makes you work on yourself. But even if you don’t agree with me, can you please try to understand why I feel a certain way? It’s fine if you tell me it’s because of a misunderstanding. But don’t get mad at me for feeling hurt. The fact that you won’t even try hurts even more.
It is humiliating to be ridiculed for your emotions, which are natural
Most sessions of your feelings being dismissed look like someone is trying to ridicule your thought process and telling you that you’re a dramatic bitch. I hope they are not using these words but the way you feel at the end of having your feelings shredded and dismissed is pretty much the same.
Your relationship should feel like a safe place
We don’t show our vulnerable side to people we don’t trust. If I am actually showing my feelings to you, it pretty much means that I trust you to handle it with care. Relationships and friendships are supposed to be a safe place, right? A place where you can be yourself and bare your heart, knowing that they won’t judge you. And then when they do judge you and criticise you for feeling a certain way, it breaks your trust. Seriously, shouldn’t we be loving each other’s vulnerable, fucked up and emotional side too?
Your partner should not make you feel they are not responsible for your emotions
I agree that you shouldn’t give anyone so much power that they influence the way you feel. But at the end, it’s not really that simple. When we love someone, we see them as ours. We put our walls down and give them access to our hearts. When they are nice to us, we feel so happy. But when something hurts, it just does. We are responsible for our loved ones emotions to some extent and when you back out, they feel abandoned in your relationship. It’s not a good feeling.
You start bottling up your feelings and that often leads to a fall out
I am speaking from experience and I really don’t feel happy about it but I couldn’t help it. Fight with me, discuss things out with me but if you dismiss my feelings, I will eventually shut down and I did. I wouldn’t tell them if something hurts me because I wouldn’t want to feel guilty for having emotions. Maybe I don’t want them to feel upset. Maybe I just want things to be peaceful. Whatever the reasons, all that bottling up leads to fall out. You’re literally compromising on communication which is really essential for a relationship to work. I feel like when I feel safe to express myself, I am more fun and vibrant. I don’t know what will remain of me in this if I can’t be vocal about things.