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Dating Trends: Is He Really Progressive Or Are You Being ‘Wokefished’?

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Would you date someone whose views don’t match yours? And by that I am not talking about how they felt about season 3 of Dark. I am talking of the bigger, more important concerns. Would you make babies with a man who believes a woman’s place is in the kitchen? Would you like to cuddle with someone who thinks progressive women are annoying? Forget playing tongue tennis with a man like that, I wouldn’t even be able to stand to complete a date with him, without throwing a glass of water in his face and strutting out.

To think of it, I have been in a situation like that, although thankfully I wasn’t on a date with this guy; he was a friend of my friends and we were all chilling together. A big chunk of the night, he seemed to be a refreshingly funny guy – modern, progressive even. And then came the part when the music stopped, we were at my friend’s place and he was intoxicated enough to reveal his true persona. That night, my best friend and I entered a huge debate with him because he said some of the shadiest things about women. If you check his social media profile, you won’t believe he is the same guy. He seems like such a woke, deep-thinking individual with a bio that reeks of positivity, which is probably his way to lure the women whose DMs he slides into, only to later also slide into their pants.

The thing is, the quality of your relationship highly depends on whether you see eye to eye or not on several things. Yes, him being a left-winger is far more important than which side of the bed he prefers to sleep on. But is he a feminist? Is he a sexist? Of course, a relationship with a guy who is in denial of inequality and all the issues that come with it will be a long, painful drag. His views will dictate how he treats you and you will feel shocked that the same guy who wrote “feminist” in his dating app bio is now mansplaining you.

Women are seeking progressive men

As millennial and Gen Z women continue to be more progressive and are striving to shatter the ceilings built from Guerilla glass of misogyny, we are rejecting the toxic male that thinks from his penis and stinks of patriarchy. In fact, it’s time for penis pride to become impotent with erectile dysfunction as we move towards erecting a pillar of equality. Can’t believe I just did that! Anyhoo, as the demand for woke men has been on the rise, the asleep kind has found a novel way to not be parched. Instead of actually working towards becoming woke, the men figure it’s easier to just fake it. So there they go, equipped with all their PR and branding skills, painting a progressive picture on their digital profile.

So what is wokefishing?

Wokefishing, inspired by the term ‘catfishing’ is when a guy pretends to be equality-driven – be it for gender, colour, caste or creed. He pretends to care deeply about the issues you feel for. He will put up stories on ‘Black Lives Matter’ and talk extensively on how ‘Thappad’ is such a brilliant film. And yet, when he is among his friends, he will drop in racist slurs and reveal his fragile ego which gets hurt when you don’t “need” him enough.

And then there are men who don’t have this dating policy in which they refuse to date woke women. They proudly say they reject feminist women as if we care about their rejections. Like hello mister, even if you dated us, we wouldn’t even stick around to watch you burn in the flames of your own superiority complex when we refuse to fan your ego.

Toxic Men who are afraid of ‘wokeness’

Bollywood has been full of such men, right? Cocktail’s Gautam Kapoor who treats Veronica like a fallen woman just because she did exactly the same things he did. Kabir Singh who picked out the most docile woman on campus and felt joy in treating her like a puppet.

English actor and artist Laurence Fox, whose family is nothing short of a dynasty used his platform to say he doesn’t date woke women and asked ‘wokeness’ to be canceled. In fact, he pointed out that sexism and racism don’t exist whatsoever and I wonder what his privileged white male ass knows anything about it.

So how do you spot a wokefisher?

1) He will announce his woke views without even being asked for it

This guy, out of research and experience knows exactly the right things to say. His dating app bio is meticulously written to show he is the top apple. I understand that a guy who is genuinely a feminist can have the same written on his bio but he will not go all out. This guy as soon as you start talking will announce his views as if only one of you can place dibs on being open-minded.

2) His words don’t match his actions

He says how proud he is of your passion for your work and then goes on to always second line it and act as if it’s all fun and frolic. This guy talks about discrimination and yet, would never date a dark-skinned woman. Like wtf, even?

3) His behavior reeks of casual sexism

Slut-shaming women who like being promiscuous, asking you to cover up your cleavage, acting like a dick when you throw in a feminist rant, expecting you to be all dolled up and waxed up – this man is a sexist. Don’t believe what his own trumpet says.

4) You see him mistreating others

Even if he is amazing at pretending to be wonderful with you, his discriminatory views will pop up with others. Observe carefully and you will know how he treats people he doesn’t want to sleep with.

ALSO READ: #Relationships: What Is Zombieing And Why It Is Such A Toxic Dating Trend

5) It all seems too good to be true

Well, if he matches every single thought, is it even possible? Especially if you point something out first and then he goes on to give a mini speech on what would seem right. This guy is trying too hard and there is definitely something he is hiding.

ALSO READ:Online Dating Has Perforated The Misogynistic Norms In Pakistan As Women Give Two Hoots About “Shame”


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