7 Things That Happen When You Cheat Even If Your Partner Doesn’t Find Out
There are several reasons people cheat. Some people are in deteriorating relationships that begin to feel like a needle in their eyes. Some are so deprived of affection and attention, they start seeking it outside. Some people get tempted by the thrill of a new romance. Some people are essentially polyamorous but they have not admitted it to themselves or their partner. Maybe it was a one-off thing or you had a passing affair in a weak phase. Or like Ross slept with another woman the same day he broke up with Rachel. You don’t want your partner to find out because it was too insignificant and you don’t want to hurt them. And maybe they won’t find out after all.
But having said that, when you cheat on your partner, there are side-effects that come along. Unless, you’re a serial cheater who has become thick skinned or if you have no moral dilemma about this, you will be affected by your infidelity.
I am not saying the person who cheats is evil. But what I am trying to say is that it comes with consequences that can give you anxiety and put your relationship at risk, even if your partner doesn’t find out. Here’s what can happen when you cheat on your partner, even if they never come to know about it.
You lose the transparency and openness
I love it when I can tell my partner everything. In fact, he’d be my human journal and I’d love it if I am his. Like he should know my friends, my family, my daily routine, what happened at work, when I went out. There are so many stories to tell – something funny that happened, something you observed, what made you happy, sad, etc. But when you have to hide something, you stop talking to them. You don’t know what to tell them, and so, you just start being more discreet about your life. What’s the point of such a relationship in which you can’t tell your partner anything?
You begin to overcompensate
There’s guilt playing in the back of your mind so to make up for things, you begin to overcompensate. You will start posting overly romantic things on social media, showering them with gifts, overdoing lovey dovey things and possibly, even letting them have their way with things. In fact, it’s also possible that you put up with their bad behaviour because you feel guilty about cheating on them!
You begin to have self-doubt
The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. But because you slipped and also, our society treats infidelity like the biggest crime, you stop loving yourself. You wonder if you can remain loyal and if you deserve good things in relationships. You stop trusting yourself and feel you don’t deserve your partner. When you cheat on your partner, you end up feeling bad about yourself.
Jealousy and controlling behaviour creeps in
When someone cheats on their partner or has tendencies to get carried away, they project it onto their partner. You begin to get more jealous, getting worried that your partner might cheat on you too. Or just because you can slip on a night out with a friend, you get worried when they go out with theirs. Also, if your partner suspected something, they might get insecure and be overly controlling too.
You fear they will find out
The world has become smaller and there are several ways your partner can find out you cheated. Maybe someone saw you at the club with your sideguy. Maybe your partner will find suspicious activity on your Google locations. And you also have to remember all the lies you told them. It can get really messed up. A tempting guy is just not worth living in fear of your partner finding out.
Your intimacy with your SO suffers
The first sign of a person developing intimacy outside your relationship is when they stop being close to you. The physical affection stops; you become distant. Every time they try to get romantic, it’s written all over your face that you’d rather sleep. Eventually, the loss of intimacy will make it difficult for you to continue loving your partner.
ALSO READ: People Who Are Sexually Or Emotionally Dissatisfied Cheat To Restore Their Self-Esteem, Says Study
Your relationship is still at risk
They may not find out that you cheated on them. But there’ll be so many things on your mind. Your communication suffers, intimacy goes down, and all that. In fact, if there are issues in your relationship, you consider ending it instead of fixing things. It just becomes easy because you already detached yourself, you know you can get intimate with another person and you feel letting go of your relationship because of your own guilt. So eventually, there are chances your relationship won’t survive the cheating.
In the end, it’s up to you – whether you want to tell your partner or you think the damage is not worth it. It’s up to you to decide whether you want the relationship or not. Either way, when you cheat, it damages you too and it’s important you deal with it constructively so it doesn’t destroy you or your relationship.