10 Signs You Have Been Single For Way Too Long. One Is That Your Vagina Maybe Be Declared A Heritage Site Soon
I have a dichotomous relationship with singledom; on one hand it feels almost addictive and too comfortable but on the other, life gets lonely sometimes. Comfortable because you have only one person to satisfy – you! There are no relationship problems, you don’t have to match schedules and neither do you worry about whether it will last. But then again, sometimes all you really want is someone to have cuddle sessions with…someone that’s not your pet or a pillow. So yes, being single has its pros and cons, like most things in life.
But here’s the thing, getting too comfortable with not dating doesn’t bode well if you want to be in a relationship anytime soon. Like if you’re thinking your ‘the one’ will just come knocking at your door while your heart is growing cobwebs, then umm, your strategy is a faulty one, to say the least. Maybe you feel it’s better this way or your faith in finding the right guy is flickering. Honestly with the kind of dating pool we are supposed to pick from, I wouldn’t blame anyone for feeling that way. But true love exists and don’t let some bad dates tell you otherwise. Here are 10 signs that you’ve been single for way too long and maybe should open up a little.
1) You’ve installed and uninstalled dating apps
It’s not like you were always the torchbearer of singledom. There was a time when your faith in dating wasn’t crashing like the stock market. But swiping did you no good. I mean, there are better ways of exercising your fingers! The dates were either crappy or had no potential of furtherance.
2) You are over all your exes
The loss, mourning and intoxicating yourself to get rid of the pain – all that is done and dusted. It’s been so long since you’ve been single that you’ve had enough (and more) time to heal yourself. They are not even on your booty call list. That’s something. Maybe now is the best time to look for a cutie.
3) You’re perpetually third-wheeling
At this point, you’ve third-wheeled so many times that it feels like you’ve exhausted your limit. There should be an upper limit to how many times you can be the extra. Even your friends feel bad for you now but they are probably glad to have someone click their pictures for Instagram. At least some good comes out of your misery!
4) You are in a relationship with Netflix
Since nobody is asking you to ‘Netflix and cuddle’, you decided to do it yourself. Except there’s no cuddling. One thing led to another, and now you’re too deep in this to be able to get out. You devour content with a passion, that you could be using between the sheets but oops, you’re single.
5) Your friends have stopped asking if you’re seeing someone
I mean, just how many times will they hear exciting stories of your wild nights of watching Money Heist until you pass out, alone?
6) Comfy clothes have replaced sexy clothes in your wardrobe
Who needs them bodycon dresses when you can chill in tights and hoodies? You want a guy who will love you in comfy clothes so you’re not even trying…
7) You don’t know what to do on holidays anymore
It’s all good but what do you even do on Valentine’s Day or NYE? All your friends are taken and usually, people celebrate holidays with their partners. But whatever, you’re just happy to exist. You gotta find your silver lining.
8) Your parents want to arrange a match for you
They have been watching you go unwaxed for weeks; they have seen you spend holidays doing nothing. Your parents are losing hope that you can set yourself up, so now they are offering to do it for you. That is the final straw, my friend.
9) But you’re not even up for that
You’re just big on the philosophy of going with flow, except there is no flow, just a standstill. You don’t want to be set up because you have fears that only you can figure.
10) You’ve become a pro at satisfying yourself
Satisfaction is important, single or not. From enjoying a cup of coffee alone to watching a movie by yourself, your independence is incredible. And of course, you’re the best at giving yourself orgasms because someone has to!