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This Viral ‘Rent A Boyfriend’ Ad Left Us In Splits. If It’s Real, It Has Our Vote

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I really don’t know if many Indian families are like that or mine is rare but my fam really feels sad that I don’t have a boyfriend. The reason behind this phenomenon is that they want me to get married but I feel they are too lazy to be involved in arranging matches. So they just are like, find your own husband! They get very excited when I date someone and they have met all the guys I was in a relationship with. My siblings and cousins have picked their favourite too! This sounds so unlike what I have seen growing up in movies that I wonder if my family has aced weirdness! Only if I could rent a boyfriend to calm my fam down for a bit.

But when I came across this wonderful tweet, I was like wow there is enough madness in the world. Someone shared an advert that says ‘Rent a decent Goan Catholic Boyfriend for all family gatherings’ and it just cracked everyone up. Now we’re not sure this is a real thing or if this guy is actually offering his service, but we are intrigued.

The package is an attractive one I must say and comes with a background story of how we met. The rented GCB will join in prayers and hymns, kiss everyone cheek to cheek, drink only beer, speak English and hum along to Lorna songs. In fact, the rented boyfriend has a list of hot topics he will discuss that will make your family love him. These include Portuguese citizenship, Brexit, English Premier League and outsiders in Goa.

I really don’t know this first hand but I am assuming catholic parents would love a boy who does these things. In fact, the ad seems to be offering several kinds of catholic boyfriends including Portuguese and with ancestral property and all that. This seems like a twisted version of The Proposal where Sandra Bullock takes Ryan Reynolds home as her boyfriend because she wants her parents to think she does have a life. Even in the movie The Perfect Date with Noah Centineo being a date on hire to make some extra money.

It’s possible that it’s not us but our parents that make us feel more single with their savagery. Like my mom laughs on my past breakups! And I am just like what even? My nani sits me down and asks “Why are you so single?” and referring to my ex, says, “You broke up with him too.” She had this entire pep talk with me, unsolicited but I appreciate the concern. She asked me about the “male friends” I have been hanging out with and if I have anything romantic with any of them. My nani feels glad when I go on dates, except I don’t so she is just like why is she so damn single.

Well, this service wouldn’t be so bad after all and could really be of great use. I would take home a Punjabi boyfriend who touches elders’ feet to greet them, says “haanji” like a handful number of times, has a huge appetite and has plans to go to Canada. Bonus points if his surname is Singh, Malhotra or Oberoi. Well, these just sound classy. Rent a boyfriend service can be a boon in every caste, religion!

This ad went so viral that everyone has been tagging their catholic guy friends in this one! I too shared it with my friend pitching this as a business idea and seems like I was too late!

People went gaga and some even photoshopped their own image into it. Meanwhile, someone was concerned if they will get tax benefit from this. “Who ever hiring this service whether they will get tax benefit or not on this expense?,” a user wrote.

Another person suggested dancing to be included in the package, “What about dancing? Mandatory requirement for festive season,” they wrote.

Someone said they can ask their “friends” to apply. “Ye konsa business hai. I can ask my friends to apply,” a user wrote. Sure, mister. Meanwhile, he be photoshopping his image on this!

ALSO READ: Desi Women Get Candid About The Ugly, Misogynistic Side Of Indian Matrimony. It’s Why Indian Women Are Scared To Get Married

 

Speaking of which, I found my editor’s tweet in the comments. “How to get in touch with this boy? Asking for a friend,” she wrote. Please tell me that friend is me! I could rent a boyfriend to get my grandmother to stop talking about me getting married.

Meanwhile, this has all the men excited! They really want in! Men be so excited in the comments – imagine being someone’s “boyfriend” and getting paid for it. But they will have to be all nice, chivalrous and trustworthy. They did not think this through, did they? Is this an undercover mission to train men to be…well, decent? Maybe it is working on the “fake it till you make it” model! I vote for this business, it benefits everyone!

ALSO READ: A Study Says That To Flirt Well With Men, Women Should Combine These Four Expressions. Screw That, Just Be Confident Instead

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