Reddit Thread Has Women Recounting The First Time They Were Sexualised. It Begins As Early As 3-4 YO, And It Never Stops….
As someone who writes about women’s issues with a vengeance, I have to deal a lot with the #NotAllMen brigade. I’ve had to fend off men who’ve been friends, acquaintances, potential lovers and even nameless trolls, who try to make me understand that my anger towards men is exaggerated and they don’t deserve it. This one particular reader has made it his life’s mission to send in stories where women have wronged men, simply to prove that even men suffer. And to all of them, all those men who think women’s rage towards their kind needs to be ‘toned down’ or ‘not generalised’ and all the other euphemisms they use to indicate we should calm the f*** down, I want to present this Reddit thread. In this thread, women reveal how old they were the first time they were sexualised.
And trust me when I say this, it’s an eye-opened and there’s no mistake. I dare anyone to read this and not feel seething, uncontrollable rage towards abusers, in this instance, men, and be willing to listen to any argument on how our generalisations are fallacious. Sorry, men, there’s just too much red in your ledger that you haven’t even begun to square with.
[TW: Sexual harassment and rape]
Redditor u/I_LIKE_LIMA_BEANS started this thread, asking the girls and women of Reddit to recount their earliest memory of being sexualised, how they reacted to it and how the experience made them feel. This, in itself, must’ve been so difficult for the women to speak about, possibly drudging up painful trauma. However, the women did respond, with the conversation eventually becoming about the first times they could remember or understand that they were being sexualised.
[serious] Girls and women of Reddit: how old were you the first time someone made a sexually inappropriate comment to you? How did you react, and did it affect how you saw yourself or acted? from AskReddit
The replies prove a sickening fact that sexualising girls begins at such a tender age, sometimes even when they are as young as 3-4 year olds, that girls don’t even remember what was happening to them. Many of them pointed out that back then, they didn’t realise that they were being sexualised, but only that it made them feel uneasy and uncomfortable. However, many of them grew up to realise they’d been, consciously over subconsciously, carrying the PTSD from those incidents into their adult lives and relationships.
The stories that these women have put forth here are yet another sickening reminder that the world is a terrible place for women from the time they are born. And those are some pretty startling statistics, when you start putting numbers to it. Imagine, at least half of the world’s population living in complete fear of being sexualised or violated by the other half. And this has been going on forever. Almost every single woman has these stories. And the worst part is, they began as early as 3-4-years-old for women, but they never stop.
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In fact, going by the news reports of babies only months old being sexually abused and senior citizen women being raped, the sexualisation of women is actually in the eye of the sexualiser, and has nothing to do with the usual excuses that are made to shame and blame women. Not her age, not the size of her breasts, not the clothes she wears or the time of day. It is all in the disgusting thoughts of sick men who sexualise women.
Some of the comments also pointed out how abuse and harassment can come from any quarter. It could be a family member, someone known to the woman. It could also be women sexualising other women. And it could also happen to young boys, as much as it can happen to young girls, thereby emphasizing the need for parents to really listen to what kids are saying and observe what’s happening around them.
One of the Redditors also pointed out how the reason the harassers and abusers begin sexualising girls and boys at such tender ages is because at that age, the children are not likely to understand what’s happening to them. It is easy for them to hide their crime, and even if the child were to confusedly report to an adult or parent, there’s a chance that they might be dismissed or not believed.
Indeed this is a very difficult and scary thread to read because it exposes how sick this world is. Definitely not a place for women. But let’s also take the important lesson that we must from this thread. The need for proper sex education has never been more dire. No amount of law enforcement and stricter punishments will deter this. As is evident, the problem is the over-sexualisation of women. And the only remedy to that is to treat it with education and open dialogue about the human anatomy and sex.