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Woman Asks What Men Want Other Men To Change For A Better World. The Responses Prove Men Are Tired Of Toxic Masculinity Too.

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Albus Dumbledore once said, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our friends. When the #MeToo movement gained momentum across the globe, one of its most striking features was men coming out in support of women and calling out the oppressive politics of their own gender and toxic masculinity. It couldn’t have been easy, seeing the light, and in that light, finally recognising their male privilege and the oppression that they’ve levelled on women for ages now. Yes, it was the bare minimum, and yes, we don’t need to build temples in their name for not going #NotAllMen. But the point is, they listened, and they accepted, and then preached a better way for their fellow men. It made me, and other women, realise that there were men out there who rejected the rigid gender roles, who recognised their follies, and who wanted to change the world for the better.

When we see the oppression, the atrocities and crimes against women around us, it’s hard to remember this small yet very real truth. Luckily, we get reminders like this one here.

Recently, journalist Rituparna Chatterjee, who curates the Twitter handle @IndiaMeToo, posed a question to the men on the platform. Rather than asking what women wanted men to change about themselves, which is usually the norm, she asked men what they wanted other men to change about themselves so as to make this world a better, safer place for everyone.

It’s such a simple yet crucial question, isn’t it? Our world view, thanks to the happenings and messaging around us, is limited to thinking that women want change because they’re oppressed and men are rigidly against it because they’d lose their power. But what the responses here prove is that there are men out there who want, nay, demand that things change, for their own gender. And it isn’t only because they want a better space for women, although that is a priority. It’s also because, somewhere, I feel, even men tire of being held up to these regressive standards of “being a man” and behaving a certain way to prove their masculinity.

The responses poured in from Twitter users, fellow journalists, comedians like Vir Das and even actors like Gulshan Devaiah and Sushant Singh chimed in. From wanting other men to lower their volume when they speak, toning down the toxic masculinity, to simply listening to what women want and not being ashamed to speak up if they’re the ones being abused, here’s what the men hoped their fellow bros would do.


Make it normal for men to be feminists! YES!

Sir, mansplaining ko zaraa side pe kar dein!


Two words: Period leaves! Women are more worried about men thinking them as weak if they start taking period leaves, which is why there are still women who think it will be a blow to their demands for equality. But if men are understanding of gender-specific needs, then this fear won’t exist.

Dear men, we know abuse can happen to anyone. Please speak up, and we will support you too.

The responses were quite eye-opening, and revealed that not just women, but even men are exhausted with toxic masculinity and want a lot of things to change in their gender’s behaviour and conduct.


Indeed, this thread generates hope. Hope that there are men out there who’ve received the message that generations of women have been trying to send out. Who don’t look at ‘feminism’ as a bad, scary word and an invitation to dismiss women as man-haters. It’s an assurance and a motivation for us women to keep talking, keep fighting for equality, because as you can see, men are listening and many of them are learning and unlearning to make this world a better place. And these men, hopefully, along with us, will raise a new generation of children who will do better.

Also Read: Hey Men, I’m Not Your ‘Dear’ Just Because I’m A Woman. As Faye D’Souza Said, Be Professional


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