Kabir Bedi Reveals How Parveen Babi Filled The Void Left By His Open Marriage To Protima Gupta. It All Sounds So Messy!
I’m someone who has always had her doubts about marriage. No, not the idea that two people choose to spend their lives together. But the other ‘conditions apply’ that come with it, such as how our society looks at having children, seeking a divorce or the complicated nature of fidelity. Take open marriage, for example. Many would think that it’s the dream to have a marriage where your spouse is not possessive and gives you the best of both worlds—married life and singledom—within the constraints of a society sanctioned relationship. However, when actor Kabir Bedi talks about how his open marriage with Protima Gupta ended in despair, and him seeking solace in fellow actor Parveen Babi, you wonder, is it all worth this much pain and tears?
The Khoon Bhari Maang actor, who was one of the first Indian actors to work internationally in films like Octoupussy (James Bond) and American soap operas like Dynasty and The Bold and The Beautiful, as well as Italian television, released his book, titled Stories I Must Tell: The Emotional Journey of an Actor. And in the book, he talks at length about how he had an open marriage with Odissi dancer Protima Gupta but the lack of intimacy was too much for him to bear and he felt discontent in their relationship.
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“Our open marriage may have seemed like a good idea at first. In the end, it only caused me greater anxiety. It had led to a lack of intimacy between us. I didn’t feel the love that I wanted, the caring and sharing I needed. Nor was I able to give it. The old magic had gone. I was feeling alone, empty and dejected.”
Eventually, Bedi developed a relationship with actor Parveen Babi to fill that void. Though Parveen had a very ‘modern’ and ‘bold’ image in public eye, he says that she actually chased a conservative idea of happiness and intimacy.
In an excerpt from his book, published by a media daily, Kabir Bedi writes about Parveen Babi,“She was a ravishingly beautiful actress with fair skin, long black hair and dark, mesmerising eyes. Until then, I’d always thought of her as ‘the girlfriend of Danny Denzongpa’. He was a good-looking Sikkimese actor, two years younger than me, a year older than Parveen. In the years ahead, he would become a highly successful villain in Bollywood and be nominated for many Filmfare Awards. Parveen began her rapid rise to stardom during their four years together. Her living openly with Danny, wearing jeans and smoking in public, had given her a bohemian image in India. But, morally, she was a conservative Gujarati girl. While the rest of the Juhu gang talked about the ‘free sex’ preaching of Guru Osho, she believed in sexual fidelity. It’s what I was looking for when I fell in love with her.”
Also Read: 7 Bollywood Actresses That Found Love In Their Second Marriage
It all seems romantic and intense until you come across the amount of heartbreak that lay in waiting for not just Bedi’s wife Protima, but Bedi himself. He revealed in his book how he broke the news about his relationship with Parveen Babi to his wife, and it seems heartbreaking.
“There was no easy way to break the news (to Protima). ‘I’m going over to Parveen’s tonight,’ I said softly when she came in. ‘Parveen’s!’ she repeated in surprise. I could see her computing what must have happened. ‘But I’ve only just arrived. Can’t you stay tonight at least?’ I shook my head. ‘No, I have to be with her tonight … and every night.’ In that moment, she realised that our relationship had changed forever. She let out a deep breath and looked at me. ‘Do you love her?’ I nodded, not without sadness. ‘Does she love you?’ she asked, her voice a notch higher. ‘Yes,’ I said gruffly, wanting to cry. I knew I was ending a relationship where we’d shared life-changing experiences together, happy and unhappy, moral and immoral, for six tumultuous years. But I didn’t want to show vulnerability. I had to be strong to end it. I held her by the shoulders to embrace her goodbye. She clung to me and burst out crying. Then she sat down on the bed and sighed deeply before she spoke. ‘Please leave me alone now,’ she said in a firm voice as tears welled in her eyes. ‘Leave me alone. Please go!’ Our ‘open marriage’ was over.”
The way Bedi describes it, open marriages sound messy and not something that could work successfully because even if they don’t show it or say it out loud, one party is bound to get their feelings hurt. It isn’t even about not being sensitive or possessive. It’s just human nature.
The couple got divorced in 1977. They had one daughter, actor Pooja Bedi, and one son, Siddharth, who is deceased. Post his divorce, Kabir Bedi married thrice more. He never married Parveen Babi, and eventually got married to British-born fashion designer Susan Humphreys. He has a son, Adam Bedi, from that marriage. After divorcing Susan, Bedi married TV presenter Nikki Bedi, divorced her in 2005, and then began a relationship with Parveen Dusanj. Kabir Bedi married Parveen Dusanj in 2016, around his 70th birthday.
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The actor also talks about the mental health issues that actor Parveen Babi suffered from, how devastatingly their breakup was handled in the media, of her tragic death, and how the three men who loved Babi—him, Mahesh Bhatt and Danny Denzongpa—were present for her funeral.
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