Dear Bollywood, What Is This Holi Fashion? This Is Not What We Wear!
Holi is just around the corner and we have already started rounding up our old and tattered tops, kurtis and overly faded jeans to wear on the ragers. Unless you are invited to a fancy Holi party at the office (highly unlikely), your outfit will end up in the garbage at the end of the day. That means, ideally, you can expect to not be able to salvage these clothes for repeat wear.
Bollywood somehow has missed that memo time and time again though. As a self-professed lover of Bollywood fashion, I am going to put it out there. This is unreasonable fashion.
All The White
How do people get away with wearing white on Holi? Not only is it impossible to get the colours washed off from white, but it is also see-through. Once the hose comes out, the scene turns into lacey bras and mismatched gunjis peeking through those pristine whites which is way more sexual than anyone intends for these parties to be.
Lehengas and Salwar Suits
It’s an unwritten rule of Holi to wear something uber simple and basic. We are thinking shorts and tees. Bollywood will have you think lehengas and salwars. We can barely work these at a wedding, but for Holi when there’s going to be colour, dancing and water, who wants these voluminous pieces of clothing? If we step out in a backless blouse on Holi, first of all we will be stared at and secondly, our backs will turn into a splash target for those pesky water balloons in no time.
Nobody in their right mind will wear a long flared skirt on Holi. They make it difficult to run away from pichkaris and weigh you down when wet. And there’s that much weight that nada can handle before your pretty skirt abandons your waist and collects in a heap at your feet leaving you very exposed.
The last thing our mothers scream at us before leaving the house on Holi is to take off our jewellery. In the hustle bustle of the festivities, you might lose them. They sometimes even cause injury if handled roughly, especially huge chandbalis that can rip your earlobe off! Why must Deepika be so unrealistic?
Guys, please no! Holi is a day to smear our faces and hair with coconut oil and walk out looking like the most geek version of ourselves. Nobody is stepping out with a full face of water-resistant makeup (and white sneakers for that matter!)
While these movie moments seem a bit silly, there are some that did it right.
The gang from Yeh Jawani Hai Dewani are decked up in proper Holi clothes with Kalki doing the most in her tank tops and shorts. Another movie that might not have gotten the women but Holi fashion right was Sonu ke Titu Ki Sweety.
What are some of your favourite Holi moments from Bollywood movies?