Why Suicide Is Never The Answer, And How To Get Help
We are talking about suicide again. Kate Spade, the owner of a fashion empire, and most known for her quirky aesthetic, was found dead in her apartment. She was 55. You’d think she had everything going for her. She was popular, her clientele included the who’s who of the world, and the cash counters were ringing at almost all her stores. Yesterday, she was found hanging in her home.
Closer home, Masaba Gupta, designer, wrote a heartfelt message about the incident, echoing everyone’s thoughts. Her Instagram post said, “Oh man, Kate Spade was one of the most successful entrepreneurs in fashion. My heart goes out to her family. Such a strange, damaged time we live in.”
Oh man! One of the most successful entrepreneurs in fashion. My heart goes out to her family. Such a strange,damaged time we live. I don’t know what drives someone to do this but if we must learn every time we hear of someone passing in this manner , we must think harder about that friend who said they’re not ok , or even check in on an acquaintance that looked out of it. Maybe we need to look at people harder & look at ourselves harder – all with compassion & kindness | drop your ego & reach out- even at the risk of seeming crazy or invasive. Reach out,but mean it. I don’t know what drove Kate spade & I don’t want to speak out of turn but on another note please understand – Depression,anxiety etc are very real,they’re here & they are in our face like never before. we are the most connected of generations… one call away but a million miles away,in our heads , somehow there has never been a greater disconnect between human beings & we must be very conscious & aware at this time.
Fame and fortune are not the only things you need. In fact, they are almost never enough. But whatever your problem, there’s always a solution. No relationship, no exam result, no situation is ever worth taking one’s life. If you are feeling suicidal, or know someone who might be, know that there is help. That it gets better, may be not immediately, but certainly over time. Maybe you don’t want to talk about it, you feel misunderstood, or worse, made fun of. Asked to cheer up and not be so sad. We want to tell you there is a way out, there always is. Here’s what you can do.
You’ve tried talking to a friend, but you were either shut down or dismissed, ’cause no one ever thinks suicide could hit so close to home. If you’re in a space where you don’t want to talk about it for fear of being misunderstood again, a suicide helpline might be the release you need. There are several suicide helplines around the country – iCall in Mumbai, Sneha in Chennai, Roshni in Hyderabad, Sumaitri in Delhi – that have professional counsellors that can help.
Here are the helpline nos.
iCall – +912225521111
Roshni – +914066202000
Sneha – +914424640050
Sumaitri – +911123389090
Take Care of Yourself
It is perhaps the last thing on your mind. Your appetite is gone, and you don’t feel thirsty or anything really. However, it is really important that you take care of yourself. Eat food, drink water and get sleep. It can be mentally and physically exhausting to think of suicide, so nutrition helps.
Have A Plan For Safety
If you’ve ever thought about suicide, we believe it’s better to have a plan for safety. The depths of despair can be a dark place. And when everything looks bleak, you may not have the coherence to give yourself a chance. Work at it now. Put away knives, razors, anything that could be dangerous. Also make sure you have someone you can call if things get worse
You barely have the energy to get out of bed, so getting exercise is not something you want at all. And while it seems counter-intuitive, getting some exercise, soaking up some sun can make things better. Exercise releases endorphins, the feel good hormones and you may feel slightly better.
Pen Down Your Goals
During better times, you wanted to travel, to bungee jump, may be even take a trek in the Himalayas. Write down your personal goals. Things you’ve always wanted to do. Keep this next to you, this could give you hope when everything else fails. Knowing that there is something to look forward to may keep you going.
Is your friend struggling with suicidal thoughts? Here’s what you can do:
1) Watch out for signs where the person talks about death, ending their misery, or killing themselves. Don’t be dismissive about it. In fact, even the signs of depression, like not wanting to hang out especially in a group, refusing to eat for long periods, being dazed often, or suffering from chronic insomnia should be taken seriously.
2) Always be sensitive. Someone struggling with suicidal thoughts or tendencies isn’t able to function like the rest of us. So, reach out with a firm but gentle approach, make sure that they are at least eating and drinking, and don’t give up on them when you don’t see an immediate response.
3) Just be there for them. A huge part of this is letting them know that they are not a bad person, messed up, or a failure for feeling this way. Be a part of their safety plan; you could be their emergency contact.
4) Plan activities for them that they previously enjoyed. And while they may resist, even if you can get them to get moving, that’s a step forward.
5) Help them write out their goals, and encourage them to pursue the smaller, more attainable ones.
6) Keep them away from alcohol, and avoid leaving them alone for long periods of time. While suicidal thoughts can seem irrational, they look like the only way out to these people. When they get better, they’ll thank you for keeping them rational.