#VDAY: Your Ultimate Guide If You’ve JUST Started Dating Someone
February is supposed to be the month of love, obviously thanks to the hyped-up occasion that is Valentine’s day. While most might think that this day is an overrated, exaggeration, commercialised event to benefit gift and greeting card behemoths (trust me we can spot you bitter ones from a mile away), it actually has a sweet history behind it.
Long story short, legend has it that Saint Valentine, a Roman priest and true romantic at heart, married young couples against the wishes of Emperor Claudius II, resulting in his beheading on the February 14. Hence, cupid struck its arrow of hearts on the month, and till today we commemorate the day by expressing our cheesy lurrrveee — which in reality doesn’t necessarily have to be on only that ONE day. But since V-day is actually a worldwide thing, why not indulge in this traditional day.
For those truly, madly, deeply in love for years might actually enjoy a romantic date or a getaway and not call it a night (if you catch my drift) — but for those who have just taken the plunge and have recently started dating someone, Valentine’s day might be one of those awkward, unsure couple-ey things you’re not sure about celebrating. So don’t let the day overwork your mind like a math equation — here’s our mini-guide telling you how to handle Valentine’s Day if you’re seeing someone or have recently started dating. Don’t be afraid, my child…embrace the love.
1. The ‘We Need To Talk’
Oh no no, don’t get us wrong, this isn’t the bad ‘we need to talk’, neither is this the ‘where are we going’ conversation you will need to have…this is more around the lines of ‘are we celebrating it or not?’. Before you make any prior plans in your head for Valentine’s Day, have a casual discussion with the person you are seeing to check whether they’d like to do something or not. If either of you are not the roses and heart chocolates, guitar in hand, and sunset by the beach kind, say it out loud and take it from there — you don’t want the date to go all K.Jo and YRF randomly, when one of you are more of the Anurag Kashyap types. Trust us with this one. Don’t need to be too serious when asking either, just make your query nonchalantly and you will get your answer. Be honest.
2. The ‘Are We THERE Yet?’
If you’ve just gone on a couple of dates and aren’t exclusive, we’d suggest skipping the holiday, in a romantic sense. DO NOT expect your partner to go out of their way and ask you out on the day, and if you’re one to take things in your own hands, don’t be disappointed if the reaction isn’t one you wanted. You honestly shouldn’t expect Valentine’s Day to be a massive deal, especially if you’re still in the ‘ummmm…not sure’ stage. Things are still picking up pace, therefore, extra pressure is definitely not required between the two of you. If you do want to do something small, just play safe and go for a cute and funny card. If you really want things to work out, keep it simple — the last thing you want to do is scare them off.
3. The ‘OK, We Definitely Are There’!
So you have reached the exclusive stage and finally stamped it as a relationship. Then Valentine’s Day might seem a little more exciting to you. Once you have the talk and establish that you want to spend the day together, then start with something small but romantic. It could either be a lovely date night at either of your places (Netflix and chill maybe?), or a romantic evening together doing things you like. Remember, you still are in the initial phase of your relationship and whilst you might be enjoying the honeymoon-butterflies-in-tummy stage, you wouldn’t want go waaaaay over-the-top with an expensive and extravagant gift. You’re still getting to know each other, so inevitably one person will outdo the other and you really don’t want to get in that awks and sticky situation. Something personalised and memorable rather than lavish is the way to go. It’s your first Valentine’s together, so go with the flow, rather than planning big.
4. Keep A Backup Ready…Always!
If you’re still quite unsure about where you are at with this person, then always make sure you have a backup ready, just in case your hoped for plan falls apart — that is, if you are someone who is adamant on celebrating the day. That doesn’t mean you need to sob and roll yourself into fetal position, slurp a bucket of ice-cream, and drown your what-should-be-celebrated-singlehood with a bottle or two of wine. We’re pretty sure you have girlfriends probably rowing in the same boat as you, so make a quick and fun plan with them. Also, you can always ditch your date if things aren’t going in the direction you want them to.
5. Don’t Be A Dreamer For Once!
Valentine’s Day comes with a lot of expectations — you want to be dreamy-eyed and hope that your partner professes their love for you and gets down on one knee — in short, you want the Romeo to your Juliet, or vice versa. NO! GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND! Whether or not you’ve decided to spend the holiday together, do not expect V-day to magically transform your life into a Shakespearean love story (also keep in mind, most of his romantic literature drastically changes to a tragedy). You do not want to learn that the hard way. So be realistic and keep things simple, and don’t be heartbroken if it doesn’t work out. Plenty of fish y’all, plenty of fish!
GIFS courtesy: GIPHY