#AskHauterfly: What Is Breadcrumbing And How To Avoid It?
Gone are the days when ghosting was the shizz in the dating world, it’s time to make way for a new term — Breadcrumbing. Yes, there is something worse than going MIA on someone, and guess what, this has actually been around for a while, we just never had a term for it, but once you’re done reading this, you’ll just know. So, first things first, what the hell is Breadcrumbing, and why does it have nothing to do with food?
For those of you innocent souls who are unaware of this concept, it is the act of flirting with someone over text, but never really meeting them. Keeping the other person engaged but never committing to anything. To clear it further, breadcrumbers are those who will like your social media posts every now and then (not regularly, mind you), message you with a ‘sup’ or ‘hey’ after particular intervals, but will always be busy if you try to make a plan, and yet will be super-friendly — on text. You throw bread crumbs at someone but not the whole loaf. And in most cases, these crumbs are given to more than one person. You know the line from a famous Bollywood song — Haaye Raam Kudiyo Ko Daale Daana? Exactly that. If a light bulb went off in your head after reading this description, then I’m sorry, you have been breadcrumbed. But, if you went silent and loosened your shoulders, well then, my friend, you are the breadcrumber.
Why do people do it? There can be various explanations for this. One is that they are downright jerks, who love the chase. The other can be that all they’re looking for is good conversations, which is why this behaviour is mostly found on social media sites and apps.
How can you protect yourself from such a situation? Scroll down for ways you can avoid this mess:
1. If he has cancelled a meeting more than thrice, just ask him to buzz off. Genuinely.
2. If he only messages you when he is bored or post-midnight, it is a hint that he just wants to pass his time.
3. If he is active on Facebook and Instagram but is ignoring your texts, consider it as a red signal.
4. If you have just started talking to someone, please don’t start thinking about babies with him yet. Expectations ruin everything.
5. But, after months of talking and dating, he is still not comfortable about even discussing future, then babe, he is breadcrumbing you.
Now, if all of the above is what you do, then sure, do it if that idiot deserves it, but if not, don’t play with his emotions, yes? Trust me, been there and definitely done that.
Hauterfly's Lifestyle writer and resident Potterhead. In love with boxes, diaries, food, and conversations. Always in a state of fernweh. (Don't know what that means? Search the site for more!)